Ahhhhh guilt.
That most useless and pervasive of emotions. Kind of like wearing a toilet paper coat in a rainstorm. Not going to keep you dry. Not going to keep you warm. Just kinda going to melt and mash and smush all over you like some gigantic melancholy monster in charge of everything in your life. Guilt sucks............ Especially because you always end up thinking you "deserve" to feel guilty for whatever it might be that you have or have not done..................................
And that's about all I really have time for.....................
I'll be back later today or tonight.......
I hope.
That most useless and pervasive of emotions. Kind of like wearing a toilet paper coat in a rainstorm. Not going to keep you dry. Not going to keep you warm. Just kinda going to melt and mash and smush all over you like some gigantic melancholy monster in charge of everything in your life. Guilt sucks............ Especially because you always end up thinking you "deserve" to feel guilty for whatever it might be that you have or have not done..................................
And that's about all I really have time for.....................
I'll be back later today or tonight.......
I hope.
Replies
Everything you said is absolutely true you know.Been there,done that. My mother was the champion of guilt causing in my life. She could make me feel guilty about just about anything when I was younger. At this point in my life it just pisses me off that I have to listen to the bullshit and not give it back. That after all would be mean and make her feel bad and a nice daughter doesn\'t do that..... and so I don\'t.She taught me that too!! LOL
I love the toilet paper coat analogy!!! GREAT!!!!
Hugs,Colleen
The summer before Timmy died I was very pregnant with Ryan. All summer he kept asking to go to Sesame Place. All summer I tried to explain that I would take him next year when the baby could go with us.
Well, by the time we could go...Timmy was gone. Oh how guilty I felt! I decided to overcompensate that summer. I took the kids everywhere. Didn\'t help at all. I knew I disappointed my dead son. I knew I could never, ever make it up..He would never see Sesame Place.
Last year I took my grandson Billy to Sesame Place. It was fantastic. He had such a great time. I took all kinds of pictures of him and his dad carousing around from attraction to attraction. There was this little boy that he met at the very first attraction. His mom and I talked as we trudged from place to place and waited in lines for our babies. About lunchtime we decided to stop for a bit and consider the water stuff. Well the mother and little boy sat with us for lunch. I guess it\'s better to join them than fight them! Her name was Mary and her little boy...who just happened to be platinum blond...well, his name was Timmy. His mom said he had been begging to go to Sesame Place for two years and she thought it was about time. At the end of the day we were all tired and dragging ourselves to the car. Mary and her Timmy were in front of us and little Timmy turned around, smiled and waved. Somehow I\'m not quite so guilty anymore.