Ok, I lied.........
I'm back for a "quickie".........
I love you guys!
............. and yes, fish DO fart!!!!!!!
Why do you think Katmac keeps sticking her head in the birdbath?
I don't think I'll be back again until later this evening.......
What can I say? I NEVER go out on Fridays. I'd rather curl up with some Sci-Fi TV and the critters. But I digress..........
I ALWAYS digress........ it's what I do!
Today I am being booked into the local jail because some of the neighbors saw Katmac wandering around the hood in pink tights with a tutu and foil on her lovely chapeau! SO THANKS FOR THAT!!!
In any case......... While I AM allowed one phone call (which will clearly have to be to a bail bondsman because they're saying my bail could be in the millions- something about being a danger to society, the office of Homeland Security and the threat to national safety- and GEEZE Katmac couldn't you have found ANYTHING else to wear????) I'm pretty certain they don't allow detainees/prisoners/social degenerates/pick-your-own-adjective-and-insert-it-here the use of a computer be it laptop or otherwise! So you'll just have to get along without me for the rest of the day.................
Until I am able to get back........... could someone please:
*Feed the herd of flamingos running around my lawn (I thought we might like to saddle-em-up for a ride sometime............).
*Make sure the embers of the rhodie have gone out (I don't want to add "Arsonist" to my list of criminal activities)
*Get Katmac out of the bird bath (if she drowns herself I go up on murder charges)
*Remember to grab an umbrella before you come into the yard (the birds finished off the Ladyfingers, which were bad, and have improved on their aim......... well, you get the picture.....) because the sky REALLY IS FALLING and when it lands it goes "SPLAT"!!!
*Picture the image of the Evil Chin seeing his shadow on the wall behind/above the sofa (he was running across the back of the sofa at the time), stopping DEAD IN HIS TRACKS, sniffing at it and then getting up on his hind legs to "play with himself"............. On the other hand............. he IS a little boy so "playing with himself" well........ you get the picture!
And now my friends................ away I must. I have things to do, people to be, schedules to keep and miles to go before I sleep!
Oh and I'd like to take this opportunity to put a plug in for carasmom's journal for yesterday and today....... the one where she lists things about herself and the poems of comfort for those of us who love and are grieving................ Thanks E- It helps!
Maybe as a week-end homework assignment we should all start working on our own lists!
Wow! Now I'm assigning homework online............
I'M A TEACHING GOD!!!!!!!
I'm back for a "quickie".........
I love you guys!
............. and yes, fish DO fart!!!!!!!
Why do you think Katmac keeps sticking her head in the birdbath?
I don't think I'll be back again until later this evening.......
What can I say? I NEVER go out on Fridays. I'd rather curl up with some Sci-Fi TV and the critters. But I digress..........
I ALWAYS digress........ it's what I do!
Today I am being booked into the local jail because some of the neighbors saw Katmac wandering around the hood in pink tights with a tutu and foil on her lovely chapeau! SO THANKS FOR THAT!!!
In any case......... While I AM allowed one phone call (which will clearly have to be to a bail bondsman because they're saying my bail could be in the millions- something about being a danger to society, the office of Homeland Security and the threat to national safety- and GEEZE Katmac couldn't you have found ANYTHING else to wear????) I'm pretty certain they don't allow detainees/prisoners/social degenerates/pick-your-own-adjective-and-insert-it-here the use of a computer be it laptop or otherwise! So you'll just have to get along without me for the rest of the day.................
Until I am able to get back........... could someone please:
*Feed the herd of flamingos running around my lawn (I thought we might like to saddle-em-up for a ride sometime............).
*Make sure the embers of the rhodie have gone out (I don't want to add "Arsonist" to my list of criminal activities)
*Get Katmac out of the bird bath (if she drowns herself I go up on murder charges)
*Remember to grab an umbrella before you come into the yard (the birds finished off the Ladyfingers, which were bad, and have improved on their aim......... well, you get the picture.....) because the sky REALLY IS FALLING and when it lands it goes "SPLAT"!!!
*Picture the image of the Evil Chin seeing his shadow on the wall behind/above the sofa (he was running across the back of the sofa at the time), stopping DEAD IN HIS TRACKS, sniffing at it and then getting up on his hind legs to "play with himself"............. On the other hand............. he IS a little boy so "playing with himself" well........ you get the picture!
And now my friends................ away I must. I have things to do, people to be, schedules to keep and miles to go before I sleep!
Oh and I'd like to take this opportunity to put a plug in for carasmom's journal for yesterday and today....... the one where she lists things about herself and the poems of comfort for those of us who love and are grieving................ Thanks E- It helps!
Maybe as a week-end homework assignment we should all start working on our own lists!
Wow! Now I'm assigning homework online............
I'M A TEACHING GOD!!!!!!!
Replies
Now ........you told us not to ask why you were burying the Lady fingers yesturday. It\'s not enough that those damn birds are dive bombing the house all the time, now they\'re tearing up the lawn to get to those rotten Ladyfingers. You\'re gonna need to attach an awning to Katmac\'s hat. Someone had better get Katmack\'s @$$ out of that bird bath because the little buggers ain\'t gonna make it to the eaves, and I hate to think what\'s coming out there poopers now, after those bad Ladyfingers (eeeeew!). Look out Kat !!!!!!!! awwwww, now where\'s that damn scraper!!!!!!!Katmack screaches \"now if I would have had my hat, my propeller would have been runnin and I wouldn\'t have to take my oh so carefully selected outfit TO.... THE... CLEANERS!!..... oh my what shall I wear to the HaDDer\'s Tea party??? thanks QUEENY!!!!!!!
Miss Janine I know you\'re a teaching God and everthing, but can I be exused from the assignment for a couple days or maybe even a week, as my friend and I are so busy preparing to go to the Hadders Tea party. I\'m sure you know what a prestgious event \"that\" is. Thankyou for your kind consideration pertaining to this matter. Sincerely, K
Hello... anybody here... I think I\'ll go as Tiny Tim\'s Girlfriend, Ms Vicki... today... oh there\'s his uke... I\'ll just borrow it for a bit... don\'t worry I\'m not going to sing Tiptoe through the Tulips I never did care much for that song... oh... wait... here\'s one ladies...
Its just an outhouse in my own backyard
The roof is so slanted and the seats are so hard
There\'s a half moon on the door
a Sears and Roebuck catalog all over the floor
It may be full of flies
but its my paradise...
(is that the neighbor\'s dog howling or is it you all... You shouldn\'t laugh at me... I\'m in good voice today... sob... boo hoo..)
Oh pooey on you all... I\'m gonna keep on singing..
There\'s a place for my mommy... my daddy and me...
and when we get together... we\'re the unholy three...
Ok yall join in...
It may be full of flies....
but its my paradise.. owwwwww ooooooo
Oh... I\'m feeling better... what do mean go back to sleeping under the piano... shame on you... you dreadful creature... You just don\'t understand the artiste... Walks off nose in air... but not very far... grabs a vodka and 7 with a twist of lime and flops down on a chair to comtemplate... or was it conjugate... Janine never did tell me what that meant... and what\'s a chapeau... was that it... no... a cloche... that was it.... geez... life is so complicated... do fish fart.... Maybe I don\'t want to know that... yeah I think I\'ll pass... back to musing upon the lack of appreciation for my musical contribution... hmmmmmm wonder if the\'d like the hot nuts song....
Oh yes please! It is a known fact that VO-7-with a twist of lime, improves the creativity. O.K. on with the hot nuts song PLEASE!
They were NOT flamingos....They were my kids come to pick me up....everyone deserted me and I was overcome with fish fart. I fell not two feet from the flaming Rhodie. I almost suffocated from the magical messeges but alas the Evil Chin saw the shadows and chased the horrid ones away.
Whilst being drug uncerimoniously from the yard by said children I heard this wonderful song. I took my guitar home so I couldn\'t join in. I shall watch Ghost Whisterer tonight and Numbers and Close to Home and ponder on my next Party attire. I cannot believe no one liked my tutu. You must remember it did allow a 15 second lag time without the leotards it may still be coming.
Hot nots peanuts get em from the peanut man...
Uh oh... too drunk to remember the rest...
something about Old Brother Bob\'s been slipping around to see the peanut man\'s old lady...
Wondering why when Old Brother Bob comes around
his dog wants to get up and play...
The peanut man says his dog is a mean dog...
He even bites the mailman
and he sees him every day...
Now what\'s going on with that...
Hmmmm
Peanuts Hot nuts... get em from the peanut man
I think old Brother Bob is getting more than hot nuts peanuts at the peanut man\'s house....
and for my swan song... hmmmm diarreah... hemroids... poop scooping away... hmmmmm I\'ll be working on it... but first... another little vodka and 7 with a twist of lime... ahhhhhhh she wanders away wondering what words rhyme with diarreah... hemroids... oh lots of words rhyme with poop....
I did my list weeks ago. So do I get extra credit? LOL!!
(CLAPPING HISTERICALLY) I\'M SO MOVED BY THAT ARTISTE CARA\'S MOM SHE IS VERY VERY TALENTED SINGER. I\'M ON MY WAY TO THE WALMART AS I MUST PURCHASE HER LATEST CD, SIMPLY CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT IT ANOTHER MINUTE. BE BACK SOON.
Thank you, thank you, thank you very much... hiccup... for my next number.... waiting till Janine comes back... she\'ll really appreciate this one.... Thank you Mr Brooks and Mr Dunn...
ok... couldn\'t leave without one more joke about farts... some people say he was a smart feller... and some other folks say he was a fart smeller...
oops... I\'m out of here before the men in the little what jackets catch me.... whoooosh