YOU SHOULD KNOW:
That just because something new has started here...
It doesn't mean that things have stopped happening at
"The Tea Party"
Oh no!
New things are being added ALL THE TIME!
Can I just say that I LOVE spending the morning
skewering men with my good buddy Elissa....
(see our hugbooks yall!)
......... and now I think I should go wake up all
the gals on my lawn..........
and get the tea party going again!
Oooooh, oooooh-
but first I'm going to change clothes.....
AGAIN!
Into a:
Jester's hat with bells at the end of each point,
(2 bells per cause one just WON'T geet'er done!)
long, gold, georgette skirt with a full hoop underneath
and gold sequins embroidered around the hem
(so as not to be too tacky or over the top)
a black cashmere vest with matching gold sequins
sewed all around the edges.......
and a GOLD LAME' BRA underneath the vest!......
OK, maybe a sheer, organza gold scarf (36"x84")
to throw around my neck and shoulders....
One doesn't want to be too outlandish....
Now, where's my mallet?
That just because something new has started here...
It doesn't mean that things have stopped happening at
"The Tea Party"
Oh no!
New things are being added ALL THE TIME!
Can I just say that I LOVE spending the morning
skewering men with my good buddy Elissa....
(see our hugbooks yall!)
......... and now I think I should go wake up all
the gals on my lawn..........
and get the tea party going again!
Oooooh, oooooh-
but first I'm going to change clothes.....
AGAIN!
Into a:
Jester's hat with bells at the end of each point,
(2 bells per cause one just WON'T geet'er done!)
long, gold, georgette skirt with a full hoop underneath
and gold sequins embroidered around the hem
(so as not to be too tacky or over the top)
a black cashmere vest with matching gold sequins
sewed all around the edges.......
and a GOLD LAME' BRA underneath the vest!......
OK, maybe a sheer, organza gold scarf (36"x84")
to throw around my neck and shoulders....
One doesn't want to be too outlandish....
Now, where's my mallet?
Replies
On men and urination:
\"I NEVER MISS\".....
The story of a man who awakes in the night (as we all do)
to find he must make use of the facilities........
(at which point most women wish indoor plumbing had never been invented)............ so off he goes.
His back is straight, his aim is true, his hand is propping him up
against the wall.
It is not the sound of the stream which raises concern but rather
the ABSENCE of sound........
Because he has in fact, fallen back asleep
MID-STREAM as it were............
and has been alerted to this discrepancy
by the absence of sound!
In the morning
it will be sound once again that alerts him to trouble....
That would be the sound of his wife
screaming from the bathroom
to \"Mr I NEVER MISS\"
in regard to the BIG YELLOW STAIN
6\" to the right of the bowl!
t\'aint nothin\' better than gratuitous peeing stories for good cheap entertainment. party on dudettes...i\'ll be back when appropriately attired...just in from a whirlwind engagement in chicago...whatever shall i wear?
Dang... I didn\'t make it back yesterday... Had a terrible hangover... and I remembered that\'s why I quit drinking in the first place 30 years ago... oh wow... So I\'ll be drinking buttermilk and eating crackers for a couple of days... hmmmm maybe one teeny weeny (more men jokes come to mind... Hey its my only revenge... well unsubscribing people from things... they had no business subscribing to... reason given... the wife says so... ohhhh yes I did)... So I think I\'ll wonder over in my granny gown... and my hair in curlers... wait a minute... its too short... ok... to heck with the hair I\'ll put one of those scarves we used to wear you know... tied in back... while we did housework.. not that I\'m going to do any housework... hmmmm this granny gown... its too plain... oh... here are my madris gras beads... My grandchildren bring me the prettiest ones... I\'ll bring some extras with me in case anyone wants to wear some... Oh yes... this one... with the parrots and big flowers... Now... my hair looks so awful in contrast... I think I\'ll put this gel on it and spike it... oh yeah... much better... should I get one of those eyebrow pierce thingys... no no no... truly that won\'t be happening... poor Cara... she had got one a couple of years ago... I hated it... and I\'m grateful that she took it out... It looked painful... See yall this afternoon...
Something to ponder...... Have you seen the circle yellow stains? It could be their unconcious state but do they sway in circles????
Oh and another question....considering the thinning hair that you are much too considerate to mention...how can that clump in the drain stopping the tub be yours?
I have found a wonderful hat.....one that blocks the sound of children..mainly because they are afraid to approach me while I\'m wearing it...it is an old aviator had..flaps and all. I have taken the time to sew a propeller on top. If someone wants me to hear them they have to give the propeller a swirl so I know they need my attention. I flip up the earpiece lend and ear make my comments and flip it down again to hear my thoughts and take my naps. Clever huh? Elissa was it you under the piano? Sorry that last brandy was the one I spilled. I couldn\'t find the stain and assumed it evaporated on the way down.
fuchsia silk velvet is what i\'ve donned...an opera coat with hood lined in cream silk, diamante buttons to add some dazzle, cream silk slippers and slip dress...and a sparkling tiarra atop my tresses. now on with the gratuitous peeing stories...
I have an old black gown that refuses to go past my neck. I tried to crawl in from the ground up and it won\'t budge around my knees. Ahh, I have a new bathrobe, pink! and I shall tie the horrid black gown toga style around. Now, my aviator hat must suffice as it seems stuck and I fear peeling it back would result in various bald spots. I did however use some tinsel around the propeller blades...quite fetching I must say. I found a fairly new pair of 3\" heels which I cut the heels from. This is quite the new look for me.
I still believe the birds are daring and prophetic and the men quite less than artistic in their peeing adventures.
Our hostess has informed moi that fuchsia is declasse\'...woe is moi! Off to find something more suitable for the party...perhaps ecru lawn with yards and yards of lace...how tea-like moi shall be!