The grades are in.......
I am utterly exhausted and this week feels like a month. I've been doing paperwork and teaching virtually every minute since Monday. Tues. night I went to sleep about midnight and got up at 4am. I did paperwork for a couple of hours and then went and sat outside the staff room for 3 and-1/2 hours so my kids could turn in all the extra credit stuff I gave them so they wouldn't flunk. I was fighting a migraine all day..... to the point of nausea..... so I was working in 3-4 hour periods and then closing my eyes for 45min before going back into the paperwork for 3-4 more hours and so on and so on and so on until midnight Wed/Thurs when I slept for 3hrs and got back up again to finish the paperwork and get to school to teach then total all the scores and go to Suzanne's to get them all entered online by yesterday's 4pm deadline. Yes, this is the glamorous world of education for which we are paid little, often respected even less and the notion of working "until 3 in the afternoon with summers off" is just that......
A BLOODY NOTION THAT HAS SERVED TO SCREW TEACHERS ROYALLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
But I digress.....
In truth I love the profession, don't care what anyone thinks about it (well, usually I don't care) and know in my heart that if I can make a difference for just one or two kids then it has all been worthwhile. It is in fact, the reason my childlessness has been bearable. Because I'm putting it all into my teaching in a way many of my peers are unable to............ so I guess that's ok.
I cry every morning on my way into work for missing Molly and I still don't know how I will manage (or even how I have been, if I have been) without her. There is just this hole in me where she used to live and I feel increasingly diminshed by her absence.
Luna is just a pale imitation of the great solar energy ball that was my girl. He is in every sense a pet and makes me realize even more how far beyond that Molly really was. She was my partner. He is my pet. She was my friend. He is a pet She was my child. She was the embodyment of everything I believed about the world and I know without a doubt that her soul was meant to be with mine in any form, in every life and I feel my spirit crying out for her loss like the hole in my heart is reflected in the universe where all the stars have just gone out................
So I miss you Midget. I miss you and miss you and miss you and I look for you everywhere and know that you are gone and still I am at a loss as to how I will ever survive this............
But this week I got my grades in and I guess that's enough for now.
I am utterly exhausted and this week feels like a month. I've been doing paperwork and teaching virtually every minute since Monday. Tues. night I went to sleep about midnight and got up at 4am. I did paperwork for a couple of hours and then went and sat outside the staff room for 3 and-1/2 hours so my kids could turn in all the extra credit stuff I gave them so they wouldn't flunk. I was fighting a migraine all day..... to the point of nausea..... so I was working in 3-4 hour periods and then closing my eyes for 45min before going back into the paperwork for 3-4 more hours and so on and so on and so on until midnight Wed/Thurs when I slept for 3hrs and got back up again to finish the paperwork and get to school to teach then total all the scores and go to Suzanne's to get them all entered online by yesterday's 4pm deadline. Yes, this is the glamorous world of education for which we are paid little, often respected even less and the notion of working "until 3 in the afternoon with summers off" is just that......
A BLOODY NOTION THAT HAS SERVED TO SCREW TEACHERS ROYALLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
But I digress.....
In truth I love the profession, don't care what anyone thinks about it (well, usually I don't care) and know in my heart that if I can make a difference for just one or two kids then it has all been worthwhile. It is in fact, the reason my childlessness has been bearable. Because I'm putting it all into my teaching in a way many of my peers are unable to............ so I guess that's ok.
I cry every morning on my way into work for missing Molly and I still don't know how I will manage (or even how I have been, if I have been) without her. There is just this hole in me where she used to live and I feel increasingly diminshed by her absence.
Luna is just a pale imitation of the great solar energy ball that was my girl. He is in every sense a pet and makes me realize even more how far beyond that Molly really was. She was my partner. He is my pet. She was my friend. He is a pet She was my child. She was the embodyment of everything I believed about the world and I know without a doubt that her soul was meant to be with mine in any form, in every life and I feel my spirit crying out for her loss like the hole in my heart is reflected in the universe where all the stars have just gone out................
So I miss you Midget. I miss you and miss you and miss you and I look for you everywhere and know that you are gone and still I am at a loss as to how I will ever survive this............
But this week I got my grades in and I guess that's enough for now.
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