So I went downstairs and told my husband how I felt (see last night's journal) and it was ok. I would be more worried about the drinking except he drinks so rarely and it has never effected his ability to do his job. Anyway; last night for the very first time EVER, he was angry at himself! So, wow, huge breakthrough! He came home REALLY EARLY (respectively speaking) and got angry at himself not me. I think it's the very first time ever that he has really seen this from my side. He also understood why the conversation last night doesn't just "fix it". Something I don't think he ever really got before. WAHOO!!!
Also, I didn't want to mention this any sooner than I had to because things like this don't always work out...... But I think there's going to be a new little chilla in the house! I finally got up the nerve to take yall's advice and got on our local craigslist to see if there were any kids out there in need of a home (complete with a somewhat neurotic mom *smile/LOL*). As it happens, there is! Lou Lou was born 9-30-06 and his mom's name is Lilly. Lilly's mom, (my human counterpart) is due to deliver her first baby in 2 weeks and knows she won't have time for both of them. So Lilly will be going to Rosanna's sister for a brief "maternity stay" ........
(Lilly goes to the babysitter, Rosanna has the baby) and Lou Lou will be coming home with me. Rosanna knows that there's no way she'd have time for 2 chillas and a baby (which I TOTALLY understand) but she can't bring herself to part with Lilly. Which I also totally understand. In an ironic aside........ Lou Lou came into being when Rosanna got another chilla to keep Lilly company. She thought (based on what she was told) that the other chilla was a female so imagine her suprise when she looked in to see Lou Lou a few months later.
Unfortunately, she put Lilly's mate back into the cage with Lilly and baby Lou Lou, so she could clean the male's cage, and when she looked back into the other cage to get him (10-15min later) she found that Lilly had killed him. The females do that instinctively because they aren't sure if the males will kill their kits. Needless to say, Rosanna blames herself for his death and we all know how well I can relate to that. Anyway, it sort of feels like it was meant to be. I'm going to go up to meet him this week sometime and unless he bites me (which I doubt because he's smiling in his picture) I'll be bringing him home with me. So, thank you for reminding me (and reminding me and reminding me until it actually sunk in) that I can do this again, that it doesn't mean I didn't, or don't still, love Molly and that it will in fact be ok. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!!!! So, although I know I'm not done grieving my beloved girl, it does seem there is still some room left in my heart.
And on that note, I need to get off a message to my girl so you'll have to excuse me. Thanks again!
Also, I didn't want to mention this any sooner than I had to because things like this don't always work out...... But I think there's going to be a new little chilla in the house! I finally got up the nerve to take yall's advice and got on our local craigslist to see if there were any kids out there in need of a home (complete with a somewhat neurotic mom *smile/LOL*). As it happens, there is! Lou Lou was born 9-30-06 and his mom's name is Lilly. Lilly's mom, (my human counterpart) is due to deliver her first baby in 2 weeks and knows she won't have time for both of them. So Lilly will be going to Rosanna's sister for a brief "maternity stay" ........
(Lilly goes to the babysitter, Rosanna has the baby) and Lou Lou will be coming home with me. Rosanna knows that there's no way she'd have time for 2 chillas and a baby (which I TOTALLY understand) but she can't bring herself to part with Lilly. Which I also totally understand. In an ironic aside........ Lou Lou came into being when Rosanna got another chilla to keep Lilly company. She thought (based on what she was told) that the other chilla was a female so imagine her suprise when she looked in to see Lou Lou a few months later.
Unfortunately, she put Lilly's mate back into the cage with Lilly and baby Lou Lou, so she could clean the male's cage, and when she looked back into the other cage to get him (10-15min later) she found that Lilly had killed him. The females do that instinctively because they aren't sure if the males will kill their kits. Needless to say, Rosanna blames herself for his death and we all know how well I can relate to that. Anyway, it sort of feels like it was meant to be. I'm going to go up to meet him this week sometime and unless he bites me (which I doubt because he's smiling in his picture) I'll be bringing him home with me. So, thank you for reminding me (and reminding me and reminding me until it actually sunk in) that I can do this again, that it doesn't mean I didn't, or don't still, love Molly and that it will in fact be ok. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!!!! So, although I know I'm not done grieving my beloved girl, it does seem there is still some room left in my heart.
And on that note, I need to get off a message to my girl so you'll have to excuse me. Thanks again!
Replies
I am so happy for you.This is the best thing that could have happened. Having another chilla to love and take care of will be so good for you and a wonderful tribute to Molly\'s memory.She would have wanted you to be happy and she would be happy to see you rescuing one of her \"brothers\" who needs help.Good for you!!!!!!! Keep us all posted.
Oh, I\'m so glad to hear about this development!! It sure sounds like the right thing and that this is the chilli that most needs you. I keep saying I\'d like to tell you about Micloud so I may as well do it here since it relates to the idea of someting being the right thing. I use the name \"Simbelsa\" here since it\'s a combination of Elsa and Simba, the two cats that I had lost over the past year. Your situation with Molly reminded me so much of mine with Elsa, because there was no closure and I felt alot of confusion, guilt and unsettledness. With Simba, even though he was only 2 years old (Elsa had been 7, about middle-aged for a cat) the circumstances of his death allowed me to have closure right away. Although I grieved for him and wanted to adopt another one in his honor, the feeling wasn\'t all intensive as it was with Elsa. As I had told you, I eventually adopted \"Kenba\" who was the right one to adopt in homor of Elsa. Well, it turns out that Micloud is the cat that is to be the fullfillment of the resolution of Simmi\'s passing. And it happened without any conscious input from me. I originally went to the shelter for a totally different cat and the way it worked out, I ended up with Micloud who reminds me so much of Simmi, that I can\'t believe I even questioned that he is the one I wanted all along. For various detailed reasons that I won\'t bore you with (but that\'s never stopped you before, you are thinking- LOL), Micloud is the relolution of Simmi\'s passing. And if Simmi has an actual reicarnated soul...then he is it. He is the same breed as Simmi and reminds me so much of him. He\'s even a male as Simmi was even though I thought he was a girl at first. But he\'s enough different from Simmi, ie a totally different color (as is the case with the chilli that you are thinking of adopting) that it\'s not as though I am trying to duplicate Simmi. But it all happened in a roundabout way. The point is, that these details some of which seem to be convoluted and ironic, are just the point. I hope it works out with your boy chilli and I can\'t wait to here about it!!!