This has been a rather bizarre day. Not necessarily good or bad, but certainly bizarre.
I woke up feeling better than yesterday which was a gift because Friday had been crappy and I woke up Sat with a migraine. We had some snow again last night which built up yet another layer of ice in this region of hills and valleys where snow/ice turn our roads into a high-profile obstacle course. So although I was supposed to join my mom at the "Stars on Ice" show in Seattle, by noon it was starting to look like I wouldn't make it......... and there will be hell to pay for that....
Anyway, Bear and I (Bear is my husband's nickname in case I forgot to tell you) have been having some difficulties lately and I have known that the relationship needed some attention. So although one of the work trailers broke down (the wheel quite literally fell off the axle) and that was going to take some of his day to handle, we decided to go to a movie together because we could go locally and get back before the roads got really bad... when the sun goes down. So I more-or-less stood my mother up (although I REALLY did not want to drive in and out of Seattle on icy roads) so my husband and I could get some quality time together and after getting all the stuff unloaded out of the trailer, and getting his guy into a hotel for the night......
The two of them went out drinking. And drinking, and drinking. Suffice to say he left here about 11:00am and called me at 3:30 to say he "was on his way home". At this point I should tell you that this is a situation I have quite a bit of familiarity with. He has "gone out for a drink" with the guys he works with often enough that I know to expect 3-4 things: 1) He'll have had 2-3 by the time he thinks about calling me. 2) He will stay for 2-3 more after calling to tell me he's on his way. 3) More often than not he closes the place and/or he will end up sleeping at a friend's place because I've told him he's too drunk to drive and he at least has enough sense to know I'm right. Otherwise, he'll come home bombed and smiling (he's a pretty cheerful drunk) and think he's going to get "lucky".
Perhaps this is unfair of me...... but "lucky" is not what he gets when he comes home in these circumstances. Ok, you're thinking, but that's not bizarre that's RUDE and after almost 15yrs he ought to know better. Yes, he should. But he really doesn't and that's why we added the word "Oblivious" to his nickname of Bear...... so sometimes he is..... (drum-roll please...)
OBLIVIOUS BEAR! My hero, NOT in tights!
Right, but what's bizarre? Well, I'm getting to that.
Tonight, instead of getting all pissed off when he called, I just accepted it and said, "no big deal" because it was getting too late to go to the movies anyway. He called again at about 6 to say he was on his way (I didn't believe him) and actually walked through the door about 6:30.......... thinking he was going to get "lucky"..........
To which I replied that he should be grateful he wasn't facing the "wrath of khan" over his behavior.
In the first place he was drunk and had no business driving. In the second place, when he told me he was on his way home I hadn't believed him because his past behavior was such that I didn't think I had any reason to and finally, he's been doing this for so long now that I just don't care how he thinks I'm going to react or why........
and still none of this is bizarre.
I guess it really isn't. But it is strange to me that I underreacted to that degree. Usually, if he comes home before 11, we talk about it..... I am angry....
and I try to explain why this behavior is so rude in my eyes. Tonight, it was as if I just didn't care enough to have that discussion.............
Hmmmmm... rereading this makes me think I should go have at least part of that discussion. If for no other reason than just so I'll know I made an effort to communicate with him.
So I'm going to do that.
I woke up feeling better than yesterday which was a gift because Friday had been crappy and I woke up Sat with a migraine. We had some snow again last night which built up yet another layer of ice in this region of hills and valleys where snow/ice turn our roads into a high-profile obstacle course. So although I was supposed to join my mom at the "Stars on Ice" show in Seattle, by noon it was starting to look like I wouldn't make it......... and there will be hell to pay for that....
Anyway, Bear and I (Bear is my husband's nickname in case I forgot to tell you) have been having some difficulties lately and I have known that the relationship needed some attention. So although one of the work trailers broke down (the wheel quite literally fell off the axle) and that was going to take some of his day to handle, we decided to go to a movie together because we could go locally and get back before the roads got really bad... when the sun goes down. So I more-or-less stood my mother up (although I REALLY did not want to drive in and out of Seattle on icy roads) so my husband and I could get some quality time together and after getting all the stuff unloaded out of the trailer, and getting his guy into a hotel for the night......
The two of them went out drinking. And drinking, and drinking. Suffice to say he left here about 11:00am and called me at 3:30 to say he "was on his way home". At this point I should tell you that this is a situation I have quite a bit of familiarity with. He has "gone out for a drink" with the guys he works with often enough that I know to expect 3-4 things: 1) He'll have had 2-3 by the time he thinks about calling me. 2) He will stay for 2-3 more after calling to tell me he's on his way. 3) More often than not he closes the place and/or he will end up sleeping at a friend's place because I've told him he's too drunk to drive and he at least has enough sense to know I'm right. Otherwise, he'll come home bombed and smiling (he's a pretty cheerful drunk) and think he's going to get "lucky".
Perhaps this is unfair of me...... but "lucky" is not what he gets when he comes home in these circumstances. Ok, you're thinking, but that's not bizarre that's RUDE and after almost 15yrs he ought to know better. Yes, he should. But he really doesn't and that's why we added the word "Oblivious" to his nickname of Bear...... so sometimes he is..... (drum-roll please...)
OBLIVIOUS BEAR! My hero, NOT in tights!
Right, but what's bizarre? Well, I'm getting to that.
Tonight, instead of getting all pissed off when he called, I just accepted it and said, "no big deal" because it was getting too late to go to the movies anyway. He called again at about 6 to say he was on his way (I didn't believe him) and actually walked through the door about 6:30.......... thinking he was going to get "lucky"..........
To which I replied that he should be grateful he wasn't facing the "wrath of khan" over his behavior.
In the first place he was drunk and had no business driving. In the second place, when he told me he was on his way home I hadn't believed him because his past behavior was such that I didn't think I had any reason to and finally, he's been doing this for so long now that I just don't care how he thinks I'm going to react or why........
and still none of this is bizarre.
I guess it really isn't. But it is strange to me that I underreacted to that degree. Usually, if he comes home before 11, we talk about it..... I am angry....
and I try to explain why this behavior is so rude in my eyes. Tonight, it was as if I just didn't care enough to have that discussion.............
Hmmmmm... rereading this makes me think I should go have at least part of that discussion. If for no other reason than just so I'll know I made an effort to communicate with him.
So I'm going to do that.
Replies
Are you afraid knowing he\'s been drinking... what a dumb question... I do so hope that things will get better...