First things first.  I completely forget that May 6 was my 30 month anniversary from cutting and since my last day in hospital!  I never thought I'd get to this point, especially the way the last few months have been.  I'm a little sad I can't say I made it that long without any overdoses but I can say that there has been no major ones (nothing that required medical intervention). Anyway, that was my big news. 
 
I did my bloodwork the other day and they woke me up before 9am the next morning calling to let me know how bad my absolute neutrophil count (ANC) is which is 400.  Ideally it should be over 1500.  I was really hoping it would be above 600 at least but no such luck.  So, my usual protocol remains in place....any fever it's off to the ER.  God has truly protected me thus far because I used to always get fevers and since this protocol was put in place a number of years ago I have not ever had a fever.  So I'm a bit bummed anyway about the ANC but it's really just the same old same old....just that I have the current number.  Trying to have faith that God will continue to keep me protected but with a vacation approaching just over a month from now it's hard not to worry.  Then there's the whole airplanes are cesspool of germs thing, and the I'm staying in environments with young children for the better part of 2 weeks...a week with under school aged children and a little less then a week with one that is the early elementary grades....so prime ages for picking up germs. 
 
Back to mental health for a bit.  The med increase is definitely helping.  We're not back to 100% yet but definitely much improved over how things had been.  It's kinda bittersweet that the meds did the trick.  I hate that my self well-being is largely influenced by a pill especially since I'd rather be decreasing the medication not increasing it....but at the same time it is such a relief to be feeling much more stable and positive and I'm thankful that such a pill exists. I'm still having the occasional off day or two here and there but overall I really can't complain.
 
Well, it's 4:30am so I should probably head to bed.  I had an evening nap and then had friends over so my schedule that was just getting back on track is completely messed again but hopefully it won't take too much to get back on track.  The weather has been a little nicer lately and I've been trying to sit outside a bit and push myself a bit out of my comfort zone with some things.  Earlier I sat down in the office and visited with staff and neighbours.  I hardly ever do that and there were a few comments about how rare it is to see me there.