Haven't been writing....just haven't had much to say.  I think the physical med side effects are improving but my moods aren't yet.  On top of that I now have friends telling me I'm not myself...I feel like I'm being a complete bitch and I don't really mean to be.  I'm just tired of everyone checking in on me constantly and need some downtime.  So now I'm not really sure what is going on.  I'm almost constantly catching myself thinking self harm and self destructive thoughts and do often think of dying.  I know deep down that's not what I want.  I am just getting worn out.  I hope things turn around soon.