It's hard to believe it's almost 7 years since I first started writing here at DS. I just took a quick glance back at the dates.
 
Today went better then expected I guess.  I didn't manage to get up and do that bloodwork yet.  It's high priority for next week.  My psychiatrist and I decided it's time to increase the prozac.  I'm not thrilled about it but I guess if it helps to give me some stability it will be worth it for now.  This has been going on for a few months with no obvious external trigger so logically I guess it makes sense.  I'm disappointed thought.  I'd rather be going the other direction with meds...I want off them, not to be more dependent on them.  My psychiatrist thinks I'll feel a little better about it after the increase starts to take effect.  That maybe when I'm not so mixed up things will be clearer.  I'm stubborn, I fully admit it, and I finally reluctantly agreed to give this a try.  I know, and knew before this appointment (and for weeks in all honesty) that this was likely what was going to happen. I put in some time after that appointment while I waiting for the one with my medical doc which was pretty much what I expected but it went okay.  She got me to fill out a short survey to evaluate my moods, determined that I'm considered moderately to severely depressed and had to be reassured I have no plans for self harm and that I do indeed know the appropriate avenues if things should change.  I see her again on the 24th and psychiatry on May 2.  Psychiatry is also sending a letter to rheumatology to get his opinion on whether the plaquenil may be playing into things.  The timing that the depression started lines up with the starting of that med fairly well.  Not saying it is the cause but not ruling it out either.  Anyway, all the appointments today were exhausting.
 
Mom and I did a little bit of running around, a quick exchange of one of my gifts from my birthday and then out for dinner.  Dinner ended up being disappointing, the food just didn't meet expectations.  Might be for the better anyway...maybe I'll stop wanting the greasy take out food for awhile and be able to start concentrating on eating healthier again.  I'm probably falling a bit short on that goal right now.  Probably doing about 50/50 in that department.  Came home and I literally crashed on the couch for a couple hours and mom ended up doing my dishes.  I woke up to them being done.  I hate when the energy is so low but I knew today was going to do that to me so I wasn't surprised.  I fought it as long as I could.
 
I booked my flight to Ontario.  It is not even a little bit in my budget but I think it will do me good to get away and see my two best friends that live so close and yet so far from here.  I'll get to meet my adopted little niece who is already over a year and I'll get to my other friends wedding.  So some very important things to look forward to.  I think the good it will do to get away will be invaluable and worth every penny but I will likely stress about finances before and after.  Sometimes I think you just gotta say screw it and do things anyway though.  You only get this life once.
 
Can't believe it's almost half way to May!  Hasn't even really started to feel like March yet (weather-wise) and yes I know we're in April now, not March.  Today was  almost every season in one.  I saw some people in t-shirts and others in winter jackets with mittens.  I had my winter jacket on and was quite thankful for it.  
 
Well, I'm actually still fairly tired so I think I'll try to wind down and finish a few computer things and then get Ebby and myself off to bed.