Not so good again today but better then I was when I woke up.  I drank probably half a bottle of cough syrup a couple hours before going to bed last night....I don't recommend it.  I'm not sure how much sleep I got as I couldn't tell if I was awake and hallucinating or asleep and having some crazy dreams...probably a mix of both.  When I finally got up today I was feeling pretty nasty and ended up throwing up.  Feeling better now then I was and have been able to get some fluids and a small amount of food into my tummy....kinda waiting to see if it stays put before taking my regular meds.  I don't know why I do such stupid things sometimes.  I just can't stop thinking about it and then it just becomes something I have to do to get myself to stop thinking about it.  I know people tell me to call someone before doing something like that but I don't feel like it's necessary.  I don't feel that it's anything bad enough to justify picking up the phone and I don't think I'd know what to say anyway....and even if I did I don't know that when I'm stuck thinking like that if there is even anything that can stop me from acting on it....since the only thing that works is acting on it.  Many many times I've been able to delay acting on something, but I've yet to ever (in my recollection) been able to completely avoid acting on the thought.