Most of today I actually felt pretty bad/sad but I'm okay right now.  My sleep is epically messed up...I just decided to start with the trazodone again short term to try to regulate things so if this starts to not make sense I'm blaming that.  I already feel it starting to kick in so this will probably be short. All day I've struggled with thoughts of various types of self harm.  I didn't give in to any of them.  I talked with a couple friends today and while I didn't get out or see anyone (not for their lack of trying) it was good to talk.  I didn't realize I was holding in as much as I was and it was helpful to get it out.  After that I actually felt some motivation to get some of the dishes done and eat a little something for supper.  Wasn't overly healthy but at least I ate.  Well...wasn't horrible either...sweet potato fries with homemade curry mayo.  I really need to start getting veggies back in my daily diet...but that will come.  Right now survival mode is were it's at.  I look after Ebby, make sure I take my meds (which I really don't want to take but know I should), and anything above that right now is a bonus.  Anyway...going to get off here and head to bed.  I'm getting drowsy.