I actually am feeling a fair bit better today.  I woke up before noon...more then an hour before my alarm clock was set to go off.  I lazed in bed for awhile, called my psychiatrist and left a message telling her how bad I was over the weekend and what I did.  I didn't hear back...but that's okay.  I opened the curtain and the blinds even though every ounce of me wanted to keep them closed.  I made a half decent breakfast and had meds and coffee at a better time of the day.  I had someone dropping off something so I ended up OUTSIDE chatting with them for awhile.  I took some of the recycling out and got the mail.  I invited friends over...people I've been friends with online for quite some time.  Our paths have crossed multiple times, we have many mutual friends, and we have a ton in common but never really met except for a brief hello at the entrance of Wal-mart one time.  So I was looking for a Roll Up the Rim Cup (herbal tea since it was after supper) and they offered to deliver so I invited them in and actually had a wonder evening hanging out and chatting.  It's quite funny how many mutual people we know and how many of the same places we hung out but just at slightly different times and how long we've been chatting online and yet this was the first real time hanging out.  They're Christians, she went to the same high school as I did, just missed each other by a year or two, he went to the same college that I did...but missed each other by a number of years.  We went to the same church at different times.  His sister was actually my Occupational Therapist a number of years ago.  We all have a love for animals, cats in particular.  They are currently fostering a cat for the rescue that I just hosted a fundraiser for.  She started selling Avon just a bit before I stopped.  There's many common interests and similar struggles.  So it was good.  I didn't really realize how much I had been pushing people away and isolating and how much I actually needed some people around that would just hang out and chat and not make me feel like I'm failing because I can't keep up with the dishes...and things are cluttered.  I do appreciate my family...mom especially...I know she means well and just wants to help....and I am so so so thankful for the help...but sometimes it's just nice to sit, relax, and hang out.  And I did a lot of it today.  I am planning to stay home tomorrow (uhm...technically today...it's almost 2am) and just work on stuff around the apartment and get a bath or shower, Wednesday I am going to plan on getting my bloodwork done...I have to fast so I will probably pack a breakfast/lunch of some sort as I have an afternoon appointment with my family doctor....FINALLY.  I do have an appointment scheduled with my naturopathic doctor for Thursday but knowing how busy Wednesday is going to be I'm thinking of rescheduling it to the following week.  I normally only go every second week but with things being rough we made the appointment for one week apart instead.  I'll see what tomorrow brings before making a decision.  I also need to get together with the owner of the rescue I did the fundraising for and give her the money.  So that's another big social thing.  And then the weekend I have a family gathering to go to and possibly a baby shower.  So there is definitely a lot coming up.  Next week is a bit busy with appointments too.  I have dental and GI...and I'll probably be on my period....which I'm not happy about...especially for the GI appointment since I need to have a sigmoidoscopy done.  That's bad enough without having to factor in time of the month...and with the vaginal stenosis tampons are not an options.  Ughh.  I could have rescheduled but it could be months, many months, before I would get another appointment and I just want this over with and hopefully get some better course of treatment for the fissures that have been a literal pain in the @$$ for over a year now.  Anyhow...I think I'm done ranting.  It was an overall okay day.  I did push myself so hopefully I don't pay tomorrow...at least not too much.  I'm definitely feeling more positive then I have been...but not all the way there.