I dissociated last night and took a small overdose.  Nothing that I ended up going to the hospital for....hardly even felt any effects from it.  Not sure what was going on in my head...I remember watching movies and taking swigs from the bottle. But it was like watching a character in the movie doing it.  I know I did it but was so far and distant.  Not sure what I was trying to accomplish.  I think I was hoping for some sort of cheap high...dunno.
 
We had a weird thunderstorm at about 2am.  It woke me up...and half the people on my FB seemed to have noticed it too.  Was odd for being February. 
 
Mom had the nerve to ask today if I'm getting depressed. Where was she when we were at my appointment a few weeks ago and I said straight out to the rheumatologist that I've been struggling with depression again.  She was in the room with us!  Then she proceeded to tell me how I need to focus on positive things.  Uhm...yeah...don't you think I'm trying to.  Ugh.  So frustrating.  Anyway...enough ranting.  I'm tired, it's after 3pm and I still need to have breakfast and coffee.  Just finishing off my lemon water first.