I've been a pretty mixed bag lately. Have a few days that I feel good and a few days that I feel bad and pretty much everything in between. Today I'm not sure were I stand so I'll say okay. Yesterday was awful...I was tempted, so tempted, to cut or to self medicate with taking sleeping pills. I didn't...but I wanted to. There are really two things that keep me from doing those things. 1. my cat Ebby...she truly is a God-send...I don't think I'd be doing nearly as well as I am if she wasn't part of my life, 2. this stupid restricted diet and knowing that if I eat certain things I feel worse....so seriously my thoughts have been I can't do anything that will land me in the hospital because I can't eat their food. How messed up is that. But hey, I guess it works. *shrugs*
That said...in the past 24 hours I've eaten an entire pan of brownies. Gluten-free and dairy free and free of everything I'm not suppose to have. I used a mix and in place of butter I used canned pumpkin and the only other things added were flax seed and water. I didn't add any sweetener other then whatever sugar was in the mix. So I guess it wasn't terrible and they were incredibly tasty. Couldn't even taste the pumpkin....so chocolatey moist ooey gooey brownies. Yum!
I think I may have figured out some of the issues with my bowels. I'm going to run it by my naturopath tomorrow. Even though I'm having regular movements I think maybe I'm still chronically constipated. So what does move through is old stool and that's why it is so hard and broken. I need to stimulate things to move through more...so not so much a softener or fiber as I've been doing a lot of that but more of a stimulant. I have some herbal Traditional Medicinals tea that has senna in it so every other day I'm thinking I'll have one. Yesterday was the 2nd day and today things seem to be moving a lot better. I had 2 movements and the 2nd was actually formed instead of broken in pieces which seems to me to confirm my theory. If I can get all the old stool out then with any luck the newer stuff will be both softer and formed. This is my hope. If this is true then hopefully things can start healing with the fissures. I'd be so so so happy if that were to happen. It's been close to a year and a half of agony every time I use the washroom and sometimes the pain last all day after. I have a good clean out coming up March 5 before my GI appointment but it would be good if I can get things started in the right direction before then. Alright, enough poop talk...just that I'm sorta excited that there might actually be light at the end of the tunnel...pun not intended.
Yesterday I spent the entire day in bed, with a few exceptions to try to catch up on dishes. Today I made myself move back to the couch in the living room....but I haven't been at all productive with the dishes. I'm trying to limit my FB time a bit but it's so hard to. I hate that I'm on it so much. But at the same time I don't know what I'd do with out it and it's almost necessity in my world of friends and acquaintances. A lot of the cat rescue work would not get done without it as a resource. We rely on it for fundraising which without the money we there would be a lot less kitties being helped. Catch 22 eh. I'm not sure when lent is but was kinda thinking of giving up FB temporarily. I've heard you can still engage in the activity you give up on Sunday's only? I don't quite understand it all so will do more research. Maybe Lent has already started? It's not something that I ever participated in until last year.
I've been on netflix a lot the last few days. I forgot to cancel my subscription before my free month was over so they took payment for a month. I figure I might as well enjoy it and then make sure I cancel it before they take a second months payment. My guilty pleasure that I've been binge watching.... Orange is the New Black. I love the story and some of the characters...and I can relate to Piper with some of my experiences. The prison life reminds me about a more extreme version of the shelters I lived in. There's definitely some things going on in the show though that I could do without seeing....but that aside it's a good show. Not something I could watch with my parents around though....lol. It's hard enough to watch The Walking Dead when I'm at their place without feeling like I'm the worst person on the planet for watching such gore.
Well I should go...my water glass needs a refill and I want to watch another episode of OitNB before I figure out what to scrounge up for supper.
That said...in the past 24 hours I've eaten an entire pan of brownies. Gluten-free and dairy free and free of everything I'm not suppose to have. I used a mix and in place of butter I used canned pumpkin and the only other things added were flax seed and water. I didn't add any sweetener other then whatever sugar was in the mix. So I guess it wasn't terrible and they were incredibly tasty. Couldn't even taste the pumpkin....so chocolatey moist ooey gooey brownies. Yum!
I think I may have figured out some of the issues with my bowels. I'm going to run it by my naturopath tomorrow. Even though I'm having regular movements I think maybe I'm still chronically constipated. So what does move through is old stool and that's why it is so hard and broken. I need to stimulate things to move through more...so not so much a softener or fiber as I've been doing a lot of that but more of a stimulant. I have some herbal Traditional Medicinals tea that has senna in it so every other day I'm thinking I'll have one. Yesterday was the 2nd day and today things seem to be moving a lot better. I had 2 movements and the 2nd was actually formed instead of broken in pieces which seems to me to confirm my theory. If I can get all the old stool out then with any luck the newer stuff will be both softer and formed. This is my hope. If this is true then hopefully things can start healing with the fissures. I'd be so so so happy if that were to happen. It's been close to a year and a half of agony every time I use the washroom and sometimes the pain last all day after. I have a good clean out coming up March 5 before my GI appointment but it would be good if I can get things started in the right direction before then. Alright, enough poop talk...just that I'm sorta excited that there might actually be light at the end of the tunnel...pun not intended.
Yesterday I spent the entire day in bed, with a few exceptions to try to catch up on dishes. Today I made myself move back to the couch in the living room....but I haven't been at all productive with the dishes. I'm trying to limit my FB time a bit but it's so hard to. I hate that I'm on it so much. But at the same time I don't know what I'd do with out it and it's almost necessity in my world of friends and acquaintances. A lot of the cat rescue work would not get done without it as a resource. We rely on it for fundraising which without the money we there would be a lot less kitties being helped. Catch 22 eh. I'm not sure when lent is but was kinda thinking of giving up FB temporarily. I've heard you can still engage in the activity you give up on Sunday's only? I don't quite understand it all so will do more research. Maybe Lent has already started? It's not something that I ever participated in until last year.
I've been on netflix a lot the last few days. I forgot to cancel my subscription before my free month was over so they took payment for a month. I figure I might as well enjoy it and then make sure I cancel it before they take a second months payment. My guilty pleasure that I've been binge watching.... Orange is the New Black. I love the story and some of the characters...and I can relate to Piper with some of my experiences. The prison life reminds me about a more extreme version of the shelters I lived in. There's definitely some things going on in the show though that I could do without seeing....but that aside it's a good show. Not something I could watch with my parents around though....lol. It's hard enough to watch The Walking Dead when I'm at their place without feeling like I'm the worst person on the planet for watching such gore.
Well I should go...my water glass needs a refill and I want to watch another episode of OitNB before I figure out what to scrounge up for supper.
Replies
Fyi Lent starts March 5 I believe and it is true Sundays aren\'t part of 40 days of Lent. So it is actually 46 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter.
Have you tried adding magnesium every day? It has helped me enormously also it is cheap, good for your heart.
good for muscles and bones as well. Start with 250 if nothing moves take 500 up to 2 times a day.
Thanks for the info on Lent. I think I might just give it a try...giving up FB...since I can still check in once a week for cat rescue type support/work. I do magnesium every night, I can\'t imagine not having it anymore. My ND has me on the max amount she is comfortable with me having.