Feeling a little better mentally.  I had my appointment with the Rheumatologist and we decided not to go ahead with the Rituximab at this point.  If/when I have more symptoms or get an infection we will revisit it at that time.  Right now I'm stable overall.  The neutropenia levels are scary low but it has never caused me an issue besides possibly the low energy.  The Rituximab may very well bring the counts up but there is no guarantee and some serious risks.  It feels better having a decision made and everyone being in agreement and just not having to think about it anymore.  I think that might have been one of the hurdles contributing to the depression this time around.  There's a few other things but now there is one less thing...and I do feel lighter today since that appointment.  Still not 100% but on track.  Even seemed to have a bit more energy today then in over a week so that is good.  Somewhere in the mix of depression and appointments I lost a day though.  I thought today was Monday and it's actually Tuesday (or well technically if you look at the clock here now it's Wednesday).  Have an appointment with the eye doctor in the afternoon for field vision test and a couple errands to do but otherwise I think the appointments are slowing down.  The next big one will be GI on March 5.  I've really got a lot riding on that one as things have been pretty miserable in that department.  I can only cut out so many foods without going crazy.  And the bowel movements and anal fissures have really got to show improvement somehow.   The yeast needs to go away again too but that's not really GI's department.  I think I've also decided I can't keep waiting for the yeast to go away and things to get better to start exercising again.  I need to figure out something so in the next few days I'm hoping to start up with the Wii Fit again. I don't care much about pushing myself too much but just want to get my body moving again and build up to walking again.  It's going to be hard but I think it will be more then beneficial.  I want to get in control of my health as much as possible so that I can enjoy life as much as possible.  I hate feeling like I'm being held captive by one health issue or another so I need to start trying to build myself up again.  Tonight I feel positive...I hope I feel that way tomorrow.  LOL.  :)  Now off to eat my psyllium fiber peanut butter cookie and take my magnesium (need food or it hurts my tummy and need magnesium or my legs go completely crazy) and then off to bed.