Another off day...maybe the February blues? Who knows.
Have lots on my mind and just trying to process it is a bit overwhelming. I think I may be hitting a bit of a depressed spell secondary to physical health issues.
I found out Monday that an issue that may be contributing to the anal fissures and trouble in that area is probably lichen sclerosis. It typically affects the vaginal area but it does sometimes affect both. It is an auto-immune condition of the skin in the vaginal/anal area. It can also lead to vaginal stenosis which I have. The gyne-dermatologist I saw thinks I'm one of the rarer cases that probably had the lichen sclerosis since childhood. She thought it was interesting that I also have lupus although there are nothing that currently shows the two of them being connected.... other then the fact many auto-immune disorders do co-exist.
I've also been doing some more research on the treatment that was recommended that I consider to try to bring up my white blood cell count and improve my energy. I didn't realize until last night that it is actually a form of chemo. It really wasn't the smartest to be googling and researching things before bed last night as I'm sure that is contributing to everything on my mind and making for a challenging day today.
I hardly got out of bed. I slept most of the day and evening and feel like I could still sleep. It's been a long time since I've felt this low. It's all I can do to make sure I'm still eating....and the foodbank came today and brought a lot of foods that I shouldn't eat. They are so tempting and I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to cheat and have a cookie (wheat flour). I know I shouldn't and I will pay for it...but they're so tempting. And they look like they have purple cats on them! Maybe I'll let myself have one. I don't know yet. I hate having sensitivities to foods. I miss the days of just eating whatever I want whenever. Ah well.
Ebby has been keeping me company today hanging out on my bed with me most of the day. She's curled up on a pillow right now. Silly girl.
Going to go now. Just needed to empty my brain a bit. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow which is probably good timing. I am wanting to find out if she knows of any supports for someone in my situation. I'm not in mental health crisis so don't want to use the crisis line...just wish there was some sort of support for people struggling with chronic physical health issues and also have depression.
Have lots on my mind and just trying to process it is a bit overwhelming. I think I may be hitting a bit of a depressed spell secondary to physical health issues.
I found out Monday that an issue that may be contributing to the anal fissures and trouble in that area is probably lichen sclerosis. It typically affects the vaginal area but it does sometimes affect both. It is an auto-immune condition of the skin in the vaginal/anal area. It can also lead to vaginal stenosis which I have. The gyne-dermatologist I saw thinks I'm one of the rarer cases that probably had the lichen sclerosis since childhood. She thought it was interesting that I also have lupus although there are nothing that currently shows the two of them being connected.... other then the fact many auto-immune disorders do co-exist.
I've also been doing some more research on the treatment that was recommended that I consider to try to bring up my white blood cell count and improve my energy. I didn't realize until last night that it is actually a form of chemo. It really wasn't the smartest to be googling and researching things before bed last night as I'm sure that is contributing to everything on my mind and making for a challenging day today.
I hardly got out of bed. I slept most of the day and evening and feel like I could still sleep. It's been a long time since I've felt this low. It's all I can do to make sure I'm still eating....and the foodbank came today and brought a lot of foods that I shouldn't eat. They are so tempting and I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to cheat and have a cookie (wheat flour). I know I shouldn't and I will pay for it...but they're so tempting. And they look like they have purple cats on them! Maybe I'll let myself have one. I don't know yet. I hate having sensitivities to foods. I miss the days of just eating whatever I want whenever. Ah well.
Ebby has been keeping me company today hanging out on my bed with me most of the day. She's curled up on a pillow right now. Silly girl.
Going to go now. Just needed to empty my brain a bit. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow which is probably good timing. I am wanting to find out if she knows of any supports for someone in my situation. I'm not in mental health crisis so don't want to use the crisis line...just wish there was some sort of support for people struggling with chronic physical health issues and also have depression.
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