Not really doing so well still.  I have zero energy to do much of anything.  That's probably keeping me from doing anything self harm wise....so I guess that's a good thing.  I don't really want to hurt myself anyway...I just want to sleep for a long long time and escape the feelings of depression.  I know it'll pass...but I also don't really care.  I just feel like I don't have it in me to fight so instead I'll just retreat and lay low.  Getting a few movies in and a bit of reading but don't even have interest in those...it just passes time.  Ebby keeps me going...but I'm almost at the point of shipping her off to my parents house...not quite there yet...but so close.  She's the only reason I smile anymore.  She's my little ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark and dreary world...and I'm trying to hang on to that...but I'm not sure how long I can...and she needs to be looked after better then I am doing right now.  I'm barely handling the minimum and I hate it.
 
Gratitude:
1. that I'm not acting impulsively
 
2. for those smiles when they come...if only Ebby was cuddly...lol
 
3. that my sister made it home safe from her trip to Iceland, Copenhagen, and Norway.