Cat rescue is one of the most emotionally draining things I've been involved in...but it is my passion.  Working on finding an abandoned cat a home.  Neighbours beg me to help.  I can't take them in or I will lose my apartment.  I can't afford to have them vetted but I do what I can.  I'm trying to find stuff to sell so I can help pay for the current kitty to have some vetting done.  But reality is I can't even really afford my Ebby though I will go without to make sure she doesn't.  Eb's is my #1.  All these other kitties in need....and there's freaking hundreds of thousands in my city...are #2.  It challenges me on every level of my being...and at the same time it is one of the things that keeps me alive.  So hurt and frustrated and sad today....it never seems to end.
 
In other news, I called my psychiatrist and left a message asking for a 1 week supply of trazadone.  I'm waiting to hear back.  I want to cut or od so bad....which is why I don't want more then 1 weeks worth.