Holy wowsers! Has it really been so long since I wrote.
Since I last wrote I went to Ontario for a vacation. I had friends that paid my way which was awesome! I visited with one of my best friends and her family for a couple weeks...and another one of my best friends for a week and then I took the train home. It was quite a trip. A great time for sure. I want to go back.
Since I've been back I had a really good week or two and then I have been having a crazy hard time getting out since then. I don't want to leave my apartment at all unless I have a ride. I don't know why I have so much anxiety in this area now but I do and I just want to move away.
Ebby and I spent about a week and a half out to my parents. We just got back a few days ago. It was a nice break...but I had forgotten how much I enjoy having my own space. It was kind of a trial run to see if I could handle moving back to my parents house on a temporary basis. I think it could be done, and we could survive, but not long term. But overall it went way better then I was expecting it to. Ebby really does make a huge difference...and makes me want to try harder to do better and help mom out more....especially when it comes to looking after the kitties. I was able to get out all of Chloe's mats, and she had a ton. Mom had been working on it for some time and not really getting anywhere...I got it done in a few days. Chloe wasn't too sure what to think of having my little Ebby around but it's all good. I think somewhere deep down inside her she enjoyed it at least a little bit. Mom says she thinks so too. Chloe is older (14 years) and has mobility issues and has always been a sassy cat...but she's a loveable little bugger too.
Mom misses having Ebby around...even though she is a total monkey when there. She just loves all the room to explore. She's always doing something to make us laugh. She even gets dad laughing with her little antics and that's kind of a rarity for him when it comes to animals.
In just a few weeks it will have been 1 year since I last cut, last od'd, last been to the ER, and last time I was admitted as an inpatient. I don't remember the exact dates but I know it was in early November. I credit God and Ebby...and I truly believe she is a gift to me from God. She's given me the reason in each day to keep trying, to do better, to keep fighting. It just took until I was in hospital that last time to realize that. I missed her so much I got discharged a day early and said I could feel the same way at home and with her company. Sure I still have bad days but I can work through them. She's helping me figure out how.
Anyway, I'm a bit off track with sleep since I accidentally fell asleep this afternoon/evening for 3-4 hours but I'm going to try and get some sleep. I took some melatonin to see if it will help because I don't want to get too off track. I was just up too early today because I had work being done in my apartment.
Since I last wrote I went to Ontario for a vacation. I had friends that paid my way which was awesome! I visited with one of my best friends and her family for a couple weeks...and another one of my best friends for a week and then I took the train home. It was quite a trip. A great time for sure. I want to go back.
Since I've been back I had a really good week or two and then I have been having a crazy hard time getting out since then. I don't want to leave my apartment at all unless I have a ride. I don't know why I have so much anxiety in this area now but I do and I just want to move away.
Ebby and I spent about a week and a half out to my parents. We just got back a few days ago. It was a nice break...but I had forgotten how much I enjoy having my own space. It was kind of a trial run to see if I could handle moving back to my parents house on a temporary basis. I think it could be done, and we could survive, but not long term. But overall it went way better then I was expecting it to. Ebby really does make a huge difference...and makes me want to try harder to do better and help mom out more....especially when it comes to looking after the kitties. I was able to get out all of Chloe's mats, and she had a ton. Mom had been working on it for some time and not really getting anywhere...I got it done in a few days. Chloe wasn't too sure what to think of having my little Ebby around but it's all good. I think somewhere deep down inside her she enjoyed it at least a little bit. Mom says she thinks so too. Chloe is older (14 years) and has mobility issues and has always been a sassy cat...but she's a loveable little bugger too.
Mom misses having Ebby around...even though she is a total monkey when there. She just loves all the room to explore. She's always doing something to make us laugh. She even gets dad laughing with her little antics and that's kind of a rarity for him when it comes to animals.
In just a few weeks it will have been 1 year since I last cut, last od'd, last been to the ER, and last time I was admitted as an inpatient. I don't remember the exact dates but I know it was in early November. I credit God and Ebby...and I truly believe she is a gift to me from God. She's given me the reason in each day to keep trying, to do better, to keep fighting. It just took until I was in hospital that last time to realize that. I missed her so much I got discharged a day early and said I could feel the same way at home and with her company. Sure I still have bad days but I can work through them. She's helping me figure out how.
Anyway, I'm a bit off track with sleep since I accidentally fell asleep this afternoon/evening for 3-4 hours but I'm going to try and get some sleep. I took some melatonin to see if it will help because I don't want to get too off track. I was just up too early today because I had work being done in my apartment.
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