Things still aren't going well here.  I've been to the ER a couple times...once on the advice of my psychiatrist for admission but I was sent home both times...even after a couple OD's.  Guess it doesn't really matter what I do.  Asking for help apparently isn't the option.  I don't know what else to do and I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear.  I know God has a plan and somehow things will work out but I can't see it...and right now I'm too mad and frustrated...and yeah even a little too proud to even try to see things from that perspective.  I just want to give up.