i don't know why...but i cut today...and burned...i don't have any good reason for it...i'm not even sure that I "felt" like it....I just did it...
 
Oddly...I do know I "feel" like having a crap day which is more or less what I had but I don't understand why I "feel" like having one of those.  I shouldn't want to feel that way.  I confuse myself.  I'm so full of conflict inside.  Today was one of those I don't even want to try kind of days.
 
Is it wrong?  I feel so hypocritical for allowing myself to have a day like that.  I don't even want to go to church tomorrow but know I should.  I'm just not sure I care...or that I have it in me....but I know that's no excuse.  I guess we'll see what morning brings. 
 
Oh well...at least I accomplished a couple things.  I had my shower.  I re-payed off one credit card and even went so far as to cut it in half.  Once I know the payment has gone through I will call to cancel the card completely.  That will bring me down to just one card.  Which I should hopefully be able to pay off within a few months.  There's less then $200 on there and without the other card payments it should be semi easy if I don't keep putting stuff on it.