Feeling better about things.  I wrote letters (emails) of apology to those that I needed to and have heard back from both and while difficult we were able to work things out.  Also I finished working on my income tax and I think I actually did it right this year...which means I get money back!  So that would be nice too.  Still trying to get some motivation to get outside because the sun is out and it's gorgeous out but my motivation seems to be lost somewhere.  Trying to talk myself into a "roll up the rim" hot chocolate at Tim Horton's to celebrate getting my taxes worked out....and getting through the last few days without any self-harm of any kind. 
 
I think I'm hooked on the benzodiazepens...however you spell it.  Not really bad...but I'm scared of trying to go a night without any.  Most days I can get through but I'm usually a wreck by night time and can't stand myself that it's better just to take the stuff and sleep....but I really don't want to be on them.  I'm going to try not to worry about it too much though right now since all my supports are on vacation and I really don't want to do something stupid in the middle of the night because I'm not sleeping and don't have great judgement...so until they're back and I have the supports in place I'm just going to keep on with them.  I'm too emotionally rocky right now anyway to handle the rebound insomnia and withdrawal affects from home.
 
Anyway...I'm babbling on.  Oh, my nephew is okay.  He doesn't remember most of what happened but was rather confused and I think embarrased when he did come to and realized the situation he got himself into.  He says he won't be doing that again anytime soon....so I think lesson learned....at least I hope.
 
Okay...gonna go try to enjoy some of this day.  I'm emotionally exhausted from the last few days but physically I think a little activity would do me good.