I had a good but busy few days and today I'm having a really hard time.  I think though that's in part to the fact I'm working on cutting back the meds at bedtime again and sleep is a bit wonky.  I'm actually having thoughts of wanting to die but don't worry...I'm not about to act on them.
 
I've been out geocaching the last few days, and took a load of donations to a local shelter, and been to the foodbank, and done a lot of walking.
 
I've also been fighting a cold since last week and it feels today like it's starting to actually hit...plus my body aches from all the errands yesterday and heavy lifting, and walking with awkward loads and using transit.  A car would make life easier some days.
 
Anyway....I don't know...I'm just really down today.  I never heard anything about the dogs, repplyed to a couple other ads with no success, and have put out an ad to dog-sit.  No replys even on that so far. 
 
I heard from housing and they currently have a wait list of 40 people in one area and over 100 in another of the area's that I'm interested in.  Interestingly though the area I'm most interested in is the one with the lesser wait list. 
 
I just feel really bummed out today and moody and just feel like curling up in a ball and crying.  I wish I had a doggy here to cuddle with.  I think that would help.  I'm tired of these mood swings and this depression.  I want to get off the sleep meds and feel happy and good and not be feeling worn down and beat up.  I want to not be complaining and focus on the Lord but feel myself wanting to just pull away and isolate.  I'm not in a very good space right....but I think I'm gonna go and watch some of Everybody Loves Raymond....or read some of the book I'm working on now.
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s not fun feeling down........sending you a big hug. What is geocaching? I\'m new to this planet.... it\'s hard to keep the mood up when the sleep is off too. I hope you can get some nice housing and some doggy walking. TAke care of yourself and am glad to hear that you do not plan to act on your negative feelings. xo
keepingon
keepingon

My crazy dog is bugging me right now to throw the ball. When I sit down to type he keeps stuffing it in the back of my seat and whining to get me to throw for him.
When I get really down I curl up with my bible and just let the Lord speak to me, then I cry out back to Him. It seems to pass in afew hours. hope this helps.