Doing okay. The movie was good...a nice easy funny one and it was good to hang with my cousins.
I got most of the laundry done but it made me super cranky...I hate bed sheets...I can't fold them for crap and they really made me mad. Sounds dumb I know...and irrational. Anyway...am back in the city now, thank goodness. I had to rush back and unload all my junk at the apartment and then hurry to the store to pick up something for dad to take to mom. He had to drive me today because Mom hurt her back...and I get a good discount on some things at the store, including the meds she needed for her back so got them...gave them to dad and rushed to my appointment with my psychiatrist. It went well but I feel a looming crashing feeling in me somewhere on the horizon. I've been feeling it off and on today.
My friend had an appointment at the same time at the same clinic so we hung out afterwards and did some geocaching. Mother Nature was having some major mood swings today. Hail for about 30 seconds...then nothing, then snow...then nothing....then rain...then nothing...then a mega downpour of rain...but it was just warm enough to be a nice soothing rain and not a bone chilling one. Then we went to the mall and then to Walmart. So we hung out quite a bit. She finally got a diagnosis and is feeling relieved regarding the mental health stuff at the moment. I was pretty sure I knew what her diagnosis was going to be even a year ago....it just took her recent admission to hospital for her to get it officially. Stupid mental health care up here. We've been hanging out a lot since we were in hospital together. I really think that helped our friendship...especially on my end. I am not so afraid of the emotions I feel and not so afraid that I'll be affected by her dips. I can relate in a lot of ways.
Anyway...it's been a long day and it's only 10:30 pm....I want to go to bed. I just wanted to update my goal. It's been 9 days since I last self-injured....11 since I last cut. And being March 1 today I wanted to start tracking it again. *sigh* Self-injury, as tempting as it is at times, as constant as it goes through my head and as twisted as my thinking gets....it's NOT WORTH IT! Now if only I could remember that at the time...but my mind got a little twisted and I was convinced if I did it I would feel better. Nope...nadda...not even for a millisecond. All it did was send me spiraling even further outta control. Thankfully I knew what steps I had to take and took them and had a plan in place that made it not too big a deal to enact that plan. I'm thankful for my hospital protocol. Sad that I need one but thankful it's there for when I do need it.
I got most of the laundry done but it made me super cranky...I hate bed sheets...I can't fold them for crap and they really made me mad. Sounds dumb I know...and irrational. Anyway...am back in the city now, thank goodness. I had to rush back and unload all my junk at the apartment and then hurry to the store to pick up something for dad to take to mom. He had to drive me today because Mom hurt her back...and I get a good discount on some things at the store, including the meds she needed for her back so got them...gave them to dad and rushed to my appointment with my psychiatrist. It went well but I feel a looming crashing feeling in me somewhere on the horizon. I've been feeling it off and on today.
My friend had an appointment at the same time at the same clinic so we hung out afterwards and did some geocaching. Mother Nature was having some major mood swings today. Hail for about 30 seconds...then nothing, then snow...then nothing....then rain...then nothing...then a mega downpour of rain...but it was just warm enough to be a nice soothing rain and not a bone chilling one. Then we went to the mall and then to Walmart. So we hung out quite a bit. She finally got a diagnosis and is feeling relieved regarding the mental health stuff at the moment. I was pretty sure I knew what her diagnosis was going to be even a year ago....it just took her recent admission to hospital for her to get it officially. Stupid mental health care up here. We've been hanging out a lot since we were in hospital together. I really think that helped our friendship...especially on my end. I am not so afraid of the emotions I feel and not so afraid that I'll be affected by her dips. I can relate in a lot of ways.
Anyway...it's been a long day and it's only 10:30 pm....I want to go to bed. I just wanted to update my goal. It's been 9 days since I last self-injured....11 since I last cut. And being March 1 today I wanted to start tracking it again. *sigh* Self-injury, as tempting as it is at times, as constant as it goes through my head and as twisted as my thinking gets....it's NOT WORTH IT! Now if only I could remember that at the time...but my mind got a little twisted and I was convinced if I did it I would feel better. Nope...nadda...not even for a millisecond. All it did was send me spiraling even further outta control. Thankfully I knew what steps I had to take and took them and had a plan in place that made it not too big a deal to enact that plan. I'm thankful for my hospital protocol. Sad that I need one but thankful it's there for when I do need it.
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