Night time (more specifically bed time) is becoming torture to me.  It's been a long time since I've been minding night time this much this often...and really I'm just going to have to learn to deal with it.  I would take some benedryl or something to knock myself out for awhile but I have to take the antibiotics so that would just screw that up.  I feel like taking a few shots of whiskey but already took my ativan and know that wouldn't be a good mix...I'd feel better probably but I wouldn't sleep or I might do something I'd regret.  I'm still feelinjg teary a lot off and on...but I don't exactly feel depressed.  I have urges...and I'm not used to dealing with those anymore.  I saw my psychiatrist earlier but it was a short appointment (for meds) so I have to wait a couple weeks to have a real appointment because her schedule is filled up.   At least today I felt like I was doing something good...since I'm no good at the whole comforting someone who's sick.  Yes my roommate was still pukey today.  I picked up all kinds of stuff for her...ginger gravol, pedialyte, starburst (if you can't keep anything down they at least make what comes up more bearable...lol) and a teddy bear...plus garbage bags....haha...we needed those.  The gravol and pedialyte seemed to help settle the nausea and she was able to keep some homemade turkey soup that our neighbor made down and even a little cereal.  Prior to the gravol water was barely staying down so it seems that's been a big help.  She looked better tonight and even stayed awake for a few hours so I think it's a sign she's on the mend.  I hope so.  I know it sounds awful but it's been a real challenge for me to stay at the apartment while she's sick.  In the past if whoever was my roommate was sick I was outta there and off to my parents quick as could be...but I really wanted to challenge myself this time to at least stick around.   I'm pretty much broke now though...financially but that's okay.  I am meeting with a financial advisor next week.  She knows a bit of my situation and knows she won't be getting paid for her services.  Another one of my contacts set it up, no pressure, and said at the least maybe we'll get along and I'll have a new friend in the city.  So...we'll see.  I don't even really do that well with the few friends I have now but whatever.  Basically she's going to help me figure out if I can be doing anything differently financially that would benefit me and help my debt go down quicker while still allowing some "me" money.  I dunno.  I'm skeptical but we'll see....that's not until Wednesday. It's already feeling like eons until my next appointment which is Tuesday with Psychology.  Honestly right now...I'm not even real confident I can keep my stay cut free goal until then.  It's mostly all I think about.   I think part of the problem I'm feeling so bad is I was so happy about how well I was doing and that I was meeting a couple BIG (to me) goals and told a lot of people and every time I do that I end up spiraling down again before I even know it.  Life is just a pain in the @$$ sometimes...I need to keep focusing on the fact that God will bring me through but I'm struggling with that tonight too.  Well, better head to bed...it's just after 2am...   

Replies

keepingon
keepingon

I find nothing helps better with nausea than flat COKE. Or Coke syrup if you can find it in a pharmacy. It really helps.
Not getting good rest can really play havoc with your emotions. I don\'t know but for me sometimes more meds like Ativan, make me edgy instead of sleepy...larger doses of Benadryl do the same. So maybe less(?) would be better at helping you sleep. Just a thought.
Nan