Wow, is today ever a lazy day.  I don't know if it's from the antibiotics but that's what I'm blaming it on.  Or maybe I'm just laying low because my roommate has the flu and I don't want to disturb her...yeah that must be it.  No, I really don't know.  I don't do well around people with the flu (ie pukiness)...how did I ever work in an ER...lol.  But I'm trying to be here for her if she needs anything even though I feel icky and wouzy when I know someone is sick.  Mostly though I just have my headphones on and am blasting worship music and online sermons from lifechurch.tv to myself.   I'm actually pretty thankful though for today.  It's one year today that I was discharged from hospital.  That's pretty big for me since my first admission when I was 19 I have never made it a year.  I'm 27 (getting close to 28) now.   Last night sleep was better then it has been.  Because of the antibiotics I ended up staying up until after 1am...so I fell asleep close to the time I've been waking up.  I was able to sleep straight through until 7am when my alarm went off to take another pill and then slept through again until almost 1pm when I woke up for my next dose and to stay up for the day. I am wishing I could be motherly to someone who is sick but I can't at this point.  My poor roommate was just sick again and all I can bring myself to do is crank up the music in my headphones and start feeling nauseated myself.  I want to be able to comfort her.  She even said sorry for throwing up (she didn't make it to bathroom, just the pail that I put by the couch in case she couldn't) and I'm like don't be ridiculous...don't be sorry.  It's not her fault she's sick and it's not my fault that I can't deal with it right now.  I just wish that I had it in me to be that kind of friend but really it's hard enough for me to just stay in the same room....and I feel bad.  I know I'll have to get over it someday to deal with it when I have kids...but I don't have kids now...and I'm not a mother.  I feel bad though.  I feel like a horrible friend.  I've had friends pat my back and hold my hair when I'm throwing up and that meant so much but it's too hard for me.     

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keepingon
keepingon

If it makes you feel any better, I have worked in the hospital since I was 17, have had 5 kids and still can\'t handle when someone \"tosses their cookies\" It just makes me want to hurl right on top of them! My husband was the good one with sick kids...thank goodness!