I was feeling really good and looking forward to the holidays and spending time with family and friends and was feeling really good about the progess I've been making and how much I've gotten done even though it's not near as much as I want...then I had to go and call mom and she totally ruined it for me. I don't even want to go out there anymore...I have to tomorrow. And I really feel like giving into the urges right now....just to cut but still. I just want to feel good and continue enjoying things like I was and now I am not. I'm trying to be positive and just work on getting some more things done but I can't stop crying and feel so miserable right now. I hate it. 30 minutes ago I was excited and looking forward to spending time with all my family....now I feel like it's better for everyone if I just looked myself in my apartment and stayed here. I know that's not true but right now that's how I feel. I'm not going to do anything counterproductive though...I'm not going to hurt myself and am going to keep making little steps forward. I'm going to make my goal for once in my life. Just really frustrated and upset and hate feeling this way and hate that what my mom says can have this type of impact on me.
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Its the holidays, its ok to be upset. Its not the end of the world. Do something that makes u feel good, forget about ur mom. I\'ll talk to u be4 christmas. Much love
Do you ever listen to Joyce Meyers? I think this is the time to look up one of her tapes on line. We can\'t control what other people say or do. We can control how we decide to respond. Don\'t let words hurt you, you are doing so well, you are growing, maturing and I am proud of you. Don\'t let your Christmas expectations get the better of you. Just change your expectations and go with the flow.
Nan