It's 1am and I'm exhausted so will be going to bed soon....and hopefully sleeping. Saw hematology and she's the first one that actually made me feel better about the chronic neutropenia and what I should be doing and at what point should I be concerned and all of that.  Also because I have had such frequent bloodwork done she can see that while low the count is pretty stable.  It dips seriously low once in awhile but comes right back up to acceptable levels (above an absolute neutrophil count (ANC) of 500).  All my other types of white blood cells are within normal range and my red blood cells and platelets are all normal and have consistantly been.  There is no indication that I would need a repeat bone marrow biopsy at this time...thankfully.  She feels that the reason for my low neutrophils (WBC's) is an autoimmune problem (especially since I consitantly test positive for various antibodies) and not a problem with my body actually making the neutrophils.  Basically, for whatever reason one of the antibodies is destroying the neutrophils but as long as things are stable and I'm dealing with lots of infections and not getting fevers they don't need to do any treatment. She even said I don't have to do such frequent bloodwork.  Only a few times a year now unless I develop new symptoms and if I have any fever then I have to go to emerg right away in case it's one of the times when my count is super low.  She gave me a special card to present to triage if I ever need to go that route but hopefully won't need it.  She also said that I'm not necessarily at risk to get more infections but that when I do have an infection it can be more dangerous.  So she did a lot of explaining and really wrote things out and did diagrams and showed me things and really helped me understand things a lot better so that I won't get so stressed out about every little thing.  I still need to be careful but I can relax a bit.   So bottom line...as long as things stay stable overall and I don't develop any new symptoms and I don't have a fever then chances are I'm alright. Mentally today I'm feeling better too...not great but better.  It was a good day overall.  Except for the exhaustion...it's really sad that I can't keep up to my mom when shopping.