i don't know what to do...i can't seem to control my anger and it's getting totally directed at my roommate even though I'm not even there...i'm at my parents.  I don't even realize i'm angry until after I send something and realize it's full of hateful and hurtful things.  I don't want to keep doing it but it seems like the more I try to stop the worse mess I make of things.  She doesn't deserve my abuse and I hate that I'm doing this.  I'd rather be like the past were I'd enternalize it all and then abuse myself with cutting and overdosing but I don't even have a desire to do that much.  Instead it's just getting directed at people it shouldn't be directed at and it makes me feel like even more of a screw up.  I want to be like Jesus...not Satan...but I can't seem to get back on track.