I'm at my parents right now and will be for a few days.  I was suppose to go to my cousins housewarming party today but I just couldn't bring myself to go.  I can't handle being around so much of my family right now and I have too much stuff to do anyway...laundry mostly. I found out it could take up to a year (or more) before I can get the rent subsidy...which is freaking hell.  I've got to finish working on my application and get it in as soon as possible...the sooner the better.  My family is not being supportive right now and at all.  They think that living were I'm living is the best option but it's making me miserable.  I've wanted out for awhile now and never really had an option...now it's getting to the point that it's necessary to leave but now I don't know what's going to happen because it could be awhile before I get the subsidized rent. Unfortunately that will probably mean that unless things improve were I'm at (and drastically) then I'm going to bounce around with family and friends for a bit and then more then likely end up back in a shelter because that's just how things work.  I dunno...I'm probably just getting myself all stressed by looking too far ahead and going through the "what if's"...actually there would be one pro if I did end up in a shelter is that the subsidy would get approved quicker as I'd end up on a higher priority. Anyway...I'm just frustrated and upset.  Hating the way things are going right now and hate the person I am right now...but at the same time I can't seem to stop getting so angry and irritable at the stupidest things...so most of the time now I just stay away from people and cry.