Ackkk...I'm exhausted.  But I'm doing well.  I grieved for those who have passed away and allowed myself to feel the emotions as horrible as it felt...but by allowing myself to feel those emotions for a time makes it easier to move on and not get stuck in it.  It's normal to feel sad when there's sad things happening around you.  There's still more death happening around.  My aunt and uncle are going to a "triple" funeral today.  An aunt, uncle, and cousin (I believe that's the relations) to my Uncle all passed away within days of each other for various reasons.  3 deaths, one family, not of the same cause.  How tragic is that. I won a ticket the other day to an event in support of the Liver Foundation.  When I entered the contest I thought it was for 2 tickets but after winning found out it was only for 1.  So, a dilema...I don't like going places I'm not familiar with on my own....so do I take this opportunity and go or do I give the ticket to someone.  I decided to take the opportunity and go.  Yes, it's out of my comfort zone, yes I had moments while there that I could easily have gotten caught up in the feelings of not belonging, not fitting in, but I pushed that aside and did my best to enjoy it.  Overall it was a good time and we got free samples of makeups, and cat food, chocolate, "potinis" (potato served in a martini glass with your choice of toppings - it's really A LOT better then it sounds...I was skeptical at first), there was entertainment, demos, a fashion show and so much more.  It was all about promoting a healthier lifestyle and eco-friendliness and also to support the Canadian Liver Foundation and raise awareness.   I'm glad I went.  I knew a few of the people there, not well, but enough and met some others.  It was so out of my comfort zone but I'm proud of myself for facing my fears and having a good time. But today, I am physically exhausted.  My body feels as though it's made of lead.  No joke...and I didn't even drink anything alcoholic last night, the opportunity was there, as was the temptation, but I choose only to get a non-alcoholic drink in support of the event.  Back to today, my body is lead.  It's simply not used to the pace I've been putting it through for the past month or so...but I'm fighting it.  Having a bit of a lazy-ish day but fighting it.  I know tomorrow will be busy again....family get-together.   I don't remember if I mentioned a little while back that my wbc count is low again.  My doctor has me getting my bloodwork done every 2 weeks now.  I also was able to tell her about the letter I got from heamatology and she's not happy.  She said she talked to my rheumatologist and they both feel I need to be seen sooner, within the next few months.  The only reason this is an issue is because my last heamatologist retired and I was never referred to a new one.  This will be the 3rd heamatologist I've had in 3-4 years.  I know referrals around here take a long time...I had to wait over a year for genetics, a few years for Reproductive mental health (that actually took two referals since the first one got lost), etc but when a physician feels you need to be seen in a certain time-frame and then you're told it's possibly you might not even be seen within 12 months it's a little disheartening.  Yes, we have free medical care in Canada...but in some cases, you may not live long enough to receive it.  No I'm not worried about dying, at this point my condition isn't life threatening, just stating a fact with our health care here.   I got one of my new pairs of glasses, the others they ordered in the wrong color frame so I'm still waiting for those.  I love my ones I have though.   I've been visiting friends, walking, running errands, but this past week I've been dragging and fighting through a fog, part of it I'm sure was related to time of the month and my sleep getting off schedule, and probably the low wbc's but it would be nice if it would start to pick up again.  A simple walk for 20 minutes seems like an eternity to me again...but I'm determined to push through.  I'm going to my parents tonight and will try to go for a walk there if it's not late.  Tomorrow I'm going to my cousins.  Sunday I hope to be back in the city as I want to go to an evening service at one of the churches here in the city, but if I can't I may try to get up early and go to my parents church with them. Next week it's appointments and getting ready for my trip to Ontario.  I still need to buy makeup for the wedding and I am broke.  But I did get my shoes.  I leave on Sept 6.