Just found out someone else I know died.  I don't know cause of death but believe it may have been suicide.  This was someone I met as an inpatient last fall.  She was such a sweet, caring person and whatever reason for her death be it suicide or natural it's still sad.   I also found out why my neighbors baby died...the umbilical cord was so tight around it's neck that it strangeled itself.  She wasn't even in active labor when it happened...it happened at least 2 days before she was induced. Anyway, that said, I am okay, just sad.  Am feeling surrounded by death right now and destruction and not in a natural and beautiful way but in an Earthly and evil way.  I know it's yet another thing the enemy is going to try to use to bring me down but I know I need to pull even closer to the Lord.   I haven't found a local church yet but I plan to soon.  I have found a good site online for church, someone I trust recommended it to me.  It's called Lifechurch.tv so I've been on there the last few days and it's helping and am trying to get more into the Word.   I did have some simple prayers answered today, which was really cool because the sermon I watched today was on prayer.  The first answered prayer, was just something that I prayed kind of casually not really expecting any answer...it was probably even more of a side thought.  I had missed my bus by a few minutes so had decided to walk part of the way I was heading while waiting for the next bus which was over 20 minutes away.  I got a ways and thought...hmmm...wouldn't it be nice if someone I know would drive by and stop and give me a ride...not even 2 minutes later I hear a car honk and turn and it's my sister...how awesome is that!  She stopped, asked me were I was heading, and that just happened to be where she was going!  Isn't God good!   The second answered prayer was that I'd find shoes today for my friends wedding.  I was starting to stress so much about that and I ended up finding the perfect pair...they were $30 but because I found another pair of shoes I loved too (they were Buy One get One 1/2 off) I ended up paying $15 for the ones for the wedding!  So not only did I find a pair, I found 2 pair which was good because not long after I noticed the sandals I was wearing are on their last days.   God really is good.  It really is about relationship.  How often do we hear that but not really do anything about it.  Think about the relationship you have with a close friend or family member (or heck, for some of us we don't even need to look at a close relationship)...how does it compare to your relationship with the Lord?  I know for me there is no comparison.  As it stands, I talk to my mom usually a few times a day, I ask her opinion often (even though I usually regret it, lol), I share in activities with her...as far as mom and daughter relationships go ours is pretty good...however I know she can no longer be my top priority relationship anymore.  I need to put God ahead of her, talk to Him at least a few times a day, ask His opinion (even if I regret it), share in activities with Him, etc.  I need to spend time, intentional time, with Him...not just when I need something or am hurt or sick or need help...but in everything.   I need to live for Him...live life by His rules which are set out in the Bible and grow and learn in the Lord.  When I do this, I know I will find peace, I'm already feeling it a lot more then I have in years and that truly is a blessing from Him.  So much has been happening that normally would have me all upside down and inside out with anxiety and fear and apprehension and I'm not saying I'll never feel those things again...I'm just saying that if you're needing hope, keep drawing close to Him.  It's not easy, it probably won't be immediate, but put forth the effort into a relationship with Him and it will be worth it.  There will still be hard times, but He can give you a different perspective during those trials and tribulations...and He will bring you through to the other side!