I'm having a hard time tonight.  In a period of a couple weeks there's been a lot of sad things happening around me and I think the two sad things I heard about today, one that I mentioned in my previous entry in combination with the fact I'm PMS'ing is making for an extremely difficult time.  I feel so heavy with grief and my heart feels like it's breaking and I just wish there was something I could do to make things better for everyone that's going through difficult things right now. There has just been a lot of death and devestation around.  The two that are hitting me the hardest are the news today of my neighbors losing their baby.  He/She was stillborn...they said it died on the weekend but they didn't find out until Monday and then she had to be induced so she could give birth to her dead child.  I seriously can't imagine what they are going through. Then the other thing that is bothering me was, well this happened earlier in the week, but a young girl with mental health issues ended up dying by jumping off the bridge...she didn't even hit water, she landed on pavement.  She was an inpatient at the time but was out on pass when this happened.  Well, anyway, tonight I found out that a friend of mine knew her as they were on the same unit for a month or so.   There's a number of other deaths recently, my parents went to a funeral for someone that died in a motorcycle accident this past week. One of my friends on here is going through a difficult time with a death that she's encountered as well...and even though I haven't said to much to my friend, I want her to know I care very much.  I just have no words really to say.    I am okay, it's just really weighing heavy on me tonight and I don't know what to do.  I'm struggling, but I will be okay.  I'm just overwhelmed with all the devestation right now...and being hormonal really isn't helping.   Add to that we're in for a big storm here and may be without power for a few days if it's anything like people are predicting.  I dunno.  I actually think it would be a good thing this storm...might help me keep my mind off all the other things...as long as no one gets hurt or dies.   And I'm in a friends wedding in a few weeks and will be leaving to go to Ontario on Sept 6 and I'm not really anywhere near ready.  I just found out that I'm required to get shoes, but I don't know what type...she answers me with a "whatever is comfy" answer but no specifics color wise and it's a dressy dress.  Plus now I need my own makeup because it sounds like we're doing our own now.  And I've just spend a crap load of money on other things lately, like my new glasses, which still haven't come in because their equipment broke so they had to send orders out to other stores so they're delayed, and then I mailed a package yesterday and today realized I don't think I signed the stupid customs form so it's probably going to come back and then I'll have to remail it (and probably pay again).    I think I might need an ativan or a benedryl or something to make me sleep tonight.