I'm doing better then earlier.  Thanks for the comments, hugs, and support.  It means a lot.  I'm trying to get caught up on other peoples journals but I'm still a week behind or so and I'm afraid I'm not going to get on top until at least next week.  But I'll keep plugging away at it as I'm able. After I posted earlier I was still upset....did some emotional eating and kept myself out of my room until a little after 4pm.  My roommate got home early and I just didn't have it in me to even be in the living room so at that point I was so tired and headachy and irritable I decided to just go lay down.  I'm not sure if I slept or not but I suspect I did.  Probably why I'm still awake at 1:20am but I am tired...and so sticky hot from the humidity. I stayed in my room until almost 8:30pm.  But I came out after that and hung out in the living room.  My roommate was laying on the couch listening to music and I'm sitting at the desk on the computer since I needed to print some things off.  I think I'm caught up on that now.  Still have close to 100 emails to check though.   Feeling better then earlier...not great, but better.  I do feel that although I am upset, the meeting was a good thing and a reminder I need to be a little more aware of my spending in order to avoid worse stress down the road.  I need to find some sort of balance instead of just pretending that if I don't see the numbers then it's not really a problem.  But I need to figure out how I can see the numbers, be aware, and still have somewhat of a life.  Gotta figure out some give and take and something that works for me without setting me back too far.   So it was a good wake up call even if I don't really like it.  It was time.  Overall I'm doing better, I'm getting out more, I'm increasing my activity, so now how do I continue to do that and not use stores as a motivator.  I'll figure it out with God's help.  In the meantime if you're a prayer feel free to send up a little prayer or two that He'll guide me in this. Oh, and no worries...I did not cut or do any of those things I mentioned in my previous entry.  Yes I felt like it, that's how I'm used to coping, but it's not going to be a part of who I am forever.  The feelings just haven't quite caught up yet to what I know.  And some days I may slip and give in, but it's all part of the journey...and with His help I'll get through.