I don't know what's wrong with me.  I don't know why I'm thinking and feeling the way I am.  Tomorrow marks 5 months of not cutting and I don't know if I can make it.  Right now I feel like I'd be better off dead and I don't know why.  I feel like I have to kill myself.  I don't know why I'm feeling this way and I don't know how to snap myself out of it.  What am I suppose to do?  I just want to give in and die.