Slept well but woke up quite early (7am) but that's okay.  I feel like I got a decent amount of sleep and am ready to face the day.  There was a radio station set up across the road at the gas station blaring their music (think dance party, bassy music) from 7am (or earlier, that's just when I woke up) until almost 9am.  Some sort of promotion or something...but it was just too much bass for first thing in the morning.  Glad I had to be up anyway.  Last time they did that I hadn't slept the whole night and was laying down to sleep when it started!   I have an appointment this morning at 11am with the new psychiatrist for the second opinion.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm sure it will be fine...but I just don't like meeting with new people to talk about my mental health and I'm suppose to be "disabled" and feel far from it but not quite ready to be working again.  Though I'm more ready now then I ever had been in the past.  I'm starting to feel human again and like I've been given yet another chance at life....to LIVE!   I'm starting to have motivation to do basic things again...like dishes and sweeping and tidying.  No I'm not were I want to be with this stuff....but it's been a long time since I've felt any consistancy in the motivation.  I'm also interested in making friends and maybe searching out Mr. Right....whoever that may be.  All in God's time I know.  Though I did have a disturbing thought this morning.  Not disturbing as in self-harm or any of the normal disturbing thoughts I get.  But, well....if you're a regular follower of my journal you have probably heard me mention my friends troubled marriage....how she wants nothing to do with her husband and little to do with her child and has moved out and is seeing all these random men.  Well, I'm friends with both her and her husband.  She basically considers them divorced, minus the legal part of it.  He's still holding out hope but doesn't expect much.  Anyway, him and I are friends as well and associate on a different website together.  For privacy sake I'm not going to say which website as much as I'd like to share it.  Anyway, last night I sent him a question about joining in on the bible study they are doing and what program I needed to be able to follow along...it's an online bible study.  I also asked him some questions about helping his daughter to listen when I have her out with her mom.  Anyway, he replied back and I sent him a thank you back and got up to get on with my day and had a quick vision of him and I together...which normally I could have dismissed except that I got butterflies along with the vision....and now I can't get him out of my head.  I'm praying God will take that out of my hands because I don't want to be (or to put) anyone in any awkward situations....and I want to be able to continue being friends with them both.  And things would just be way too weird.  Thing is when I had my shower I couldn't help thinking about him and his daughter and how he's got all the qualities I'm looking for in a husband and how much I love his daughter.....and then I had to stop myself.  I had to remind myself that he is still married, to one of my good friends, and that it's ridiculous to be having any type of fantasy about him and I.  *sigh*  And I do think it's ridiculous....but that's still not helping me get the idea out of my head!   Anyway, I needed to rant about that because I need to finish getting ready for this appointment and focus on that and the other things that need to get done today and am hoping by writing those thoughts maybe it will keep them outta my head at least for a few hours.  *sigh*  LOL.  Gotta love complication, eh!