There's something that's been bothering me since Thursday that I thought time (and God) would have me starting to feel better.  It's contributed to why I decided to take a break from Second Life (SL) and make some changes in my priorities so it's not all bad.  But it still hurts and brings me to tears and makes me feel like a horrible person. Thursday I was having a rough day, I knew it was probably just coming down from being on vacation and being overtired.  I messaged my online counselor (who I see in SL) and asked for prayer and stated that I was feeling urges but that I was probably just overtired.  A short time later I overheard her talking to a group of people we hang out with about how I am treating her like she is my god and she can't help me and deal with my messages anymore because I don't want help.  I confronted her (again in message) to confirm she was talking about me.  She said yes.  I stated I don't feel I am placing her on that level but that I'm sorry she is feeling that way and that I will no longer see her as I'm such a burden.  Her response...."fine".  Which is fine really, I don't mind not seeing her.  But the whole situation seems so unprofessional to me and it really did hurt.  I wish she would have communicated with me instead of talking behind my back to the group where I had to overhear it.  Yes I even admit I'm angry.   It didn't end with that...I sometimes act on impulse so I did say something to the group to the effect of I wouldn't be a bother to them anymore...I don't remember my words exactly but I admit they were said on impulse and in anger.  Another member of the group started sending me more nasty and hurtful messages about how horrible of a person I am, how I don't care about anyone and only myself, and other things to that nature.  Anyway, after some words back and forth (yes still in anger...on both parts) I decided to return to the area and make a public apology for my actions.  They did accept my apology but I am still feeling hurt, angry, and torn up over this whole situation.  No one apologized to me for hurting me.  I forgive them anyway...but I still hurt.  I have been asking God to take this from me or what to do to make the situation better.  I don't feel like I'm getting any answers.  I don't know what to do. I know in type it all sounds piddly and stupid.  But even on SL real emotions are still involved.  I didn't know asking for prayer at that time would cause so many problems.  I always thought we were suppose to ask for prayer.  And yes, I had been praying as well.   I know I'm not an easy person to deal with.  I have and am working on changing this but I'm only human...I'm far from perfect.  I know those people are human too.  I don't expect any one to be anything more.  I know sometimes I have placed people on a higher priority then God but I honestly still don't feel like I placed her in this position (from my point of view) but I understand she felt that I was and it's an uncomfortable feeling to feel that and so I do apologize for that...just would've been nice for her to talk to me about it so that necessary changes could've been made without all the hurt feelings that followed.  I did realize from this though, that SL in a whole, I have been putting on too high a priority which is why I'm taking the break from it.   I've got a lot of mixed emotions about this whole situation and it feels unresolved but I don't know what I'm suppose to do, if anything, to resolve it.  I know I'm rambling...I've just been holding this inside for too long trying to figure out what to do and it's eating at me.   ~~~ found this shortly after posting this entry...it helped a little so I thought I'd share it here too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY646NC-DuQ  Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.