I'm feeling so depressed and overwhelmed with life at the moment.  I don't want to even get out of bed.  What the....why.  I need to get back on top of things soon.  I've got a trip to get ready for and I can't be all down and depressed for that.  I've been fighting urges to do things that would put me in hospital.  I don't want to be in hospital and I don't want to have those things be a part of my life anymore.  I just want to have a little bit more "normal" life for a change.  I'm sick of the fact that my life for 12+ years has revolved around mental health.  Anyway....now all I'm doing is complaining and that's not going to be helpful for me either.  Lord, you know how I feel and You O Lord can help me overcome this.  I thank you for all you have done for me.  Amen.