I want to burn.  I just had 3 very difficult phone calls from my LTD (long-term disability) providers because of my trip.  I didn't know I was suppose to let them know that I was going away and besides that I didn't know the dates until yesterday or the day before.  I knew they were trying to schedule an appointment with another psychiatrist for me but I never knew until today they had a date set, which happens to be while I'm away.  So anyway...although they weren't mean about it and totally want me to have a good time on my trip it still felt like they were giving me a hard time because they have to cancel the appointment and reschedule one for when I'm back.  And he was like if you miss the next appointment for any reason then you lose your income.  UGHHH!  I'm trying not to stress out about it but it's just so hard on my head right now.  I can't stop crying and I have major urges to burn but I am trying not to give in.  I feel like I shouldn't be going on this trip now but my friends spent almost $700 on my flights and took time off work so I can't not go.  I don't know what to do...I can't seem to calm myself down.