so my evening has been pretty decent....but i'm confused... these stitches are driving me nearly up the wall...and i know i get them out tomorrow....but they are seriously driving me nutty...okay...so it's actually probably the cuts healing but the fact they are there is driving me nuts.  So is it considered self-harm if i were to take them out myself?  I know it wouldn't be the smartest thing...especially considering i have the appointment tomorrow.  I'll be honest...I took one out....to see what it was like and I know I could easily take out the others with time.  It didn't hurt at all.  I'd be much less agitated by them. I'll try to leave them alone...but I dunno...it's driving me nuts.  I guess that's what I get for cutting myself eh.  *shrugs*  I should be sleeping anyway....but I'm not.   It's 1:50am.   I did do up some Christmas cards tonight.  Got only about a gazillion more to do but I started.   Good news...I've felt very little anxiety since I got home tonight so I'm thinking they are probably right about the meds.  It's been almost immediate reduction in anxiety....it's still there...but not nearly so bad.  And before it didn't matter if I went out or not...I was just a big ball of anxiety mess just about all the time.  It will take a few days yet to know for sure....and I'm scared of the depression symptoms becoming an issue again.  I want to be happy for Christmas.  I want my family together and I want to be happy so I can enjoy it.  That's ALL I want this year.  The family together will probably happen, it usually does...but to be happy and enjoy it...I'm not sure.  That's what I want...so bad.    Well, I'm hungry and should get something to eat so I can go to bed.   Must stop procrastinating.