Ughhhh...yet another one of the files is being closed because I can't prepare to go back to work right now.  She was the one I was hoping not to have it closed with.  I don't know what to do.  I'm so screwed up right now.  On the plus side she is hoping my main disability case manager will set up a referral with a private psychiatrist just for another opinion.  First...we'll see if it actually happens....second....we'll see if he/she says anything different....and third...would be nice if they know of some other options because things just aren't working out for me now.  Anyway, that's the scoop on that.  I've got to start doing A LOT more walking.  I have 4 bus tickets left, to last me until the end of the month....hmmm....yeah not gonna happen since it usually takes 2 tickets per appointment....I have appointments today and tomorrow.  And then I'm stranded.  FUCK.  How many more breaths do I fucken need to take before I just keel over dead and then they can close ALL my files like they want to.  I'm such a waste of societies time....no....not even socieety....just all these freaking appointments and professionals.  La-de-da.  ****SCREAMS****