Dear God,I trusted that this med situation was going to be the right way to go.  I went through all the hell of withdraw from the other one, being off meds completely, and now giving this a try only to find out it is probably the cause of all the crap load of anxiety.  Lord...I know some people would say I just need to fix my faith with You and trust You but well...You know I can't do that right now.  I don't want to be on meds but right now that seems the best option...but I'm at the end of my rope.  In fact...my rope is unraveling fast and i'm just hanging on by some of the threads.  I can't keep on in this fight.  I don't know what You want of me short of actually giving it to You and I already told You I can't right now.  And this is not the way to get me to give it to You if that's what You're thinking.  I'm so angry right now at the situation.  I feel like the way things are going I will be dead by Christmas....and part of me is kind of wishing that would happen.  Not of my own hands so much....just that it would happen.  I'm so tired of this.  Whatever it is You have in store for me that is suppose to be so great...I'm not sure I want it if it means going through all this crap.  I can't keep on hanging on Lord.  I can't do it.  So You're either going to have to start fixing things....or let me off this ride.  Just stop my heart or something...I know You have that power in You....stop my lungs from taking in air.  I don't care....just make it all stop!  Please!  Just make it stop. ***HUGS*** Take care and blessings,Nicolle