i'm really mad and upset right now...my appointment was at 11am...and i totally didn't hear the alarm or the phone ringing and didn't wake up until after 12noon!!!  I'm so annoyed with myself.  I did talk to her for a minute though...she just called me back...so I have some options...but I don't know which one to take.  She had a cancelation at 3pm...so I can go then...but she will have a student with her during the session (not sure I like that idea)...or I can see her tomorrow at 11am...and chance messing up like I did today.  She said I don't have to let her know right away so I can think about it or even just show up for the 3pm if I want to.  I have an appointment scheduled with my online therapist for 5pm...so I could just wait for that...but that is kind of just for check in and prayer...I'd rather see the one that I was suppose to see this morning.  And then the other thing is I found out about a depression/anxiety support group...and that just happens to be meeting tonight at 7pm.  I kind of know one person who goes and I asked my counselor (the one i missed the appointment with) and she said she was going to recommend it...so maybe I should just do that.  But I don't know if that would work for me or not.   I'm feeling really overwhelemd and totally anxious about everything right now.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like just giving into the urges and burning myself.  I feel like everyone is better of if I'm dead...but I know that is just a lie...that's just how I feel.  I just don't know what to do right now.  I need to figure out something.  I think God made me sleep through my appointment so I'd stop blocking things and feel again....but I don't like feeling...feeling is what gets me in trouble.