having a really really hard time with urges right now...and i can't stop crying...and i'm just really fucken frustrated with life right now...but i'm trying to not let myself think and just trying to survive until tomorrow at 1pm...about 21.5 hours away....which seems like a hell of a long time right now.  Really long time...I know it doesn't sound it but when you are struggling every second to hang on it is an eternity.   Things I need to do today...survive, shower, do up the glitter postcards for swap-bot so they can dry...things I should do today....eat, fold and put away the towels, do dishes.  That's really it for needs and shoulds.   My roommate and I are planning to watch Nim's Island tonight.   that's about it...i gotta go try to find something to distract me...cause right now i really don't even feel like fighting it but i know i should...