yeah so even the hospital thinks i'm a waste of space, time, effort and can't be helped.  The police (one of which was my sisters best friend) showed up at my apt tonight and took me down to the hospital.  I had no choice in the matter and because the officer knows my family i didn't fight it.  Anyway after waiting around for like 5 hours they said there wasn't any point in me being there and to go home.  Doesn't matter that I am planning on killing myself because I'm behind being helped...a complete fuck up and not worth the time of day.  How's that for mental health care around here.  Go home and stop wasting our time you fucken loser.  Story of my life.  I've been kicked out of the hospital before, not just kicked out but arrested and driven home and dropped off at my door after telling them i'm planning ot hang myself and told oh if you feel like doing it then go to the ER...uh...hello...did you not hear that I am fucken planning it as soon as I get home.  That was a few years ago so obviously it didn't happen...so maybe they are psychic or something and knew something I didn't....but what kind of fucken message does that send to someone who wants to kill themself.  UGGHHHH!  And it basically happened all over again.  I'm so obviously fucken worthless.