i don't think i can do this anymore...i'm falling apart but trying to hold all my pieces together...it's like I've got my arms full...trying to carry everything at once...and it's just too much...things are spilling over...and i can't make it to my destination with all the pieces...some of them are going to spill over and leave a trail...and eventually i'll just be too frustrated and give up even trying to get to the destination in one piece...because there will be nothing left.   i'm still at my parents, but got the laundry done.  Will go back to the city tomorrow...just got to somehow make it through the night.  Just not sure there is any point.  I don't think I can do this but I really don't want to chance ending up in the hospital again.   I'm such a fucken loser.