omg i am in such a crappy mood.  the sleeping meds made me drowsy last night but didn't much help with actually sleeping...i don't know how much or how little i slept just that it was broken in pieces.  not sure if i'm going to my appt with my psychiatrist or not.  There's nothing really she can do...no point...just need to continue with the med decrease and clean out period as per her instructions....what happens during that time happens.  We'll see.  I called to verify there are not fines if the appt is missed.  I can't afford to pay any fines so will definitely go if it's going to cost me money to not go.  I'm almost off the meds now...just a few more days and med free.  Gonna try to get through Oct with no hospitalization....which means no overdosing and no major self harm.  So again....cutting and burning it is...if that's what it takes to get by. *shrugs*  Right now, I'm not in a position were it's even worth trying not to give in....it'll just lead to more dangerous roads if I do.  I freaken hate BPD and depression...and whatever else I might have.  I suspect Bipolar II as well but that's just my thoughts.  Anyway...I don't feel like writting in my journal anymore.  Might see about commenting on some of the ones I'm behind in though.