i'm here...i'm okay for now...just needed to find different distractions than usual...just needed out of my head for a bit....still don't want to deal with any God stuff right now though...I just need a break from it so my appt with OT got rescheduled until next week which ended up being a good thing...I just wasn't up for it earlier and couldn't bring myself to try to meet someone new and try to look at the future and getting back to work...just needed a break from my head...and all the people that try to keep me in there... so a couple days ago i signed up for a couple swaps on swap bot and one of them is for a glitter postcard swap...so i played with glitter glue for a bit...it's been too long...i still need to glitterize two more postcards but it was kind of fun i had my shower finally and saw my roommate for a few minutes but didn't really hang out..told her about the lumpy milk situation last night and appologized for not being able to pick up another carton...there was no place open nearby...but figured she'd rather not experience the lumpy milk either...blech...drank 3/4 of a large mug before i clued in that it was not the chocolate syrup making the milk lumpy...*gag*  Dumped the rest of the mug and carton down the drain. so last night i got involved in some not so great stuff on second life...but it meant nothing to me and i'm sure it didn't mean anything to the other person either...seeing as they talked me into it and the type of area i found them in..oh well...what's done is done.  Today I went on there and found a treasure hunt game that I am liking better.  It's hard and frustrating but it's a great distraction and ran into someone who was nice enough to teach me how to build some stuff that I've been trying to do for a few months.  It was just a refreshing change...and what I needed today. did the med decrease today, which is 3 days earlier then i was planning, but on schedule with how i was suppose to be decreasing it.  Not sure if it's that or the lumpy milk making me feel nauseas....or the old pudding i mixed up...or just the amount of ibuprofen i've had to take to make the pain in my mouth stop from the work the dentist did the other day...probably all the above... anyway...sorry for being a pain...i know i'm not being very good right now...and i'm being horribly selfish and rebellious...but thats just how i need to be right now...but i am okay for now   

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

great! I love you and I\'m here for you... talk to you soon friend.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry, if I offended you...I\'ll give you your space and hope we can talk again.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Blessings to you and prayers for all you are going through. You are not a pain. We all go through different moods, thoughts, situations. Glad you are ok. xo
deleted_user
deleted_user

HEY GIRLIE,
I READ ALL OF YOUR JOURNALS. I WROTE A PRAYER FOR YOU IN THE PRAYER LINE ON FRIDAY. I JUST HAD A FEELING THAT THINGS ARE NOT SOLID IN YOUR LIFE. I WILL RESPECT YOUR WISHES AND NOT TALK ABOUT THE GOD STUFF, BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT GOD IS ALWAYS THERE WITH OPEN ARMS JUST FOR YOU.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE HAVING A MAJOR MELT DOWN.
DON\'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF, K. WE ALL FEEL DOWN FROM TIME TO TIME. IT\'S CALLED BEING HUMAN. GOD KNOWS. YOU ARE JUST ANGRY. IT\'S SO GOOD TO JUST LET IT OUT.
TRUST ME I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. IT\'S HARD BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES WITH HEALTH PROBLEMS. IT MAKES US FEEL LIKE WE ARE NOT NORMAL OR SOMETHING. BUT JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS FEELING. NOW WHEN I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW, I EAT BEN & JERRY\'S AND LISTEN TO AMY WINEHOUSE AND BURN PICTURES. BUT, THAT\'S HOW I DEAL. I CRY THE NEXT DAY WHEN I CAN\'T BUTTON MY JEANS, LOL. BUT WE ALL HAVE TO FIND HEALTHY OUTLETS FOR OUR EMOTIONS. I LIKE TO KNIT. WHAT! I DO. I FIND IT RELAXING. TRY A NEW HOBBY. JUST ANYTHING TO KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY. WE LOVE YA HERE. YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH YOU ARE BEING A LIL REBELLIOUS, LOL. BUT SOMETIMES SO DO I. SO SWEETIE JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED K.
AND TELL ALL ABOUT SWAP BOXES. IT SOUNDS NEAT.
OODLES OF HUGS AND LOVE,
NIECY.
deleted_user
deleted_user

OH GOSH!
YOU DRANK 3/4 OF CURDLED MILK? LOL.
I GOTTA SEND YA SOME YOO-HOO\'S!!!