having a hard night but a promise to a friend is a promise to a friend and that said I have to find a way to stay safe...*sigh*  I don't usually promise anything because I am too afraid of breaking the promise but am determined to somehow not break it this time... so i started a discussion in the SI group asking for positive distractions and no one really cares...well...one person wrote some things...so i am going to try a couple things...except that two of the suggestions i can't do right now and one of them has me at a loss..and i'm struggling with the other one...and there were only 4 suggestions.  So in another group I asked for positive upbeat songs so maybe i can look up some on youtube...but am still waiting to see if any one replies...right now my christian music isn't cutting it...i just need some regular worldly positive music...is there such a thing? I really am trying to keep distracted an positive.  It's late enough.  Maybe I should just take all my sleeping meds...the highest dose of oxazepam i'm aloud and some benedryl...and try to call it a night...i dunno...i just want to give in