Yikes...been awake since around 4am...so not cool.  Maybe feeling a teensy tiny bit better then yesterday but barely enough to even mention.  I soooooo want to give in and cut again.  I still might...I just wish I had something better here to do it with then what I have.  This stuff is all crap.  Maybe I'll buy something better after my appointment today.  That's an idea.  Yay...something to look forward to.   My counselor thinks I need to check back into the hospital but i am so not doing that again already.  I just got out like just over a week ago or something like that.  Nothing is gonna help this time anyway.  What's the point...sure I have days were I feel better...but ultimately I always feel like crap again anyway.  Why bother trying....like seriously...why bother?   What's the point of life anyway...